Aquarius is known for being a more difficult sign that pulls away emotionally. He’s easily suffocated and needs a special kind of woman to handle him! He has a few reasons why he goes cold, but there are ways to pull him back. Here are some of the reasons he pulls away, and how to get him to return to you.
How do you pull an Aquarius man back without seeming needy? It is tough – you have to walk a fine line here, as he will find any whiff of desperation to be “uncool.” Yet at the same time, you do need to let him know how you feel, as he’s unlikely to take charge.
Also, it really helps to know, in my experience as a Relationship Astrologer, why he’s pulling away. Is it him? Or is it you? It’s hard to find perspective sometimes and easy to take things personally.
The truth is, Aquarius men are not the easiest to understand. They are often rather aloof and may seem uncaring and uninterested. He might even act more like a friend towards you than a lover. Kind of confusing, right? Right.
So, once you know why he has been pulling away, it becomes so much easier to have a strategy to win him back! Here are the top five reasons he pulls away and what you can do about it.
5 Reasons Why An Aquarius Man Pulls Away
1. He Feels Suffocated
One of the top reasons why the Aquarius man pulls away is because he feels totally suffocated. Maybe you’re not even suffocating him – he just is the type who needs a crazy amount of freedom and independence.
Perhaps he has other demands being made on him, demands you’re not aware of. Maybe he has people pressuring him at work, or family pressure. All of this on top of each other could make him feel claustrophobic.
However, if you have been asking him for a lot of his time and energy, then it’s possible that it’s you – and that’s never easy to admit. Maybe you’re also just someone who needs that. There’s nothing wrong with being a very affectionate person! It’s just maybe a bit much for this detached sign.
So, what can you do about it?
Pull Him Back Strategy: Give Him Freedom And Space
The answer is obvious: give him loads of space and freedom. Because if you don’t, you really will be pushing him further away. The more suffocated he feels, the more he’s going to pull away. The more you ask of him, the farther he will run.
Focus on yourself. He loves a girl who’s independent! It will make him come running right back to you, trust me.
Despite commonly being mistaken for a water sign, Aquarius’ are actually an air sign. This means that they do not desire the cloying depths of emotion. Rather, they want something with more openness and ease.
If an Aquarius man is pulling away, it’s important to respect his air sign nature and let him have a little time to be free. Just like an eagle needs to fly, an Aquarius needs wide open spaces too.
You chasing after him will only remind him of perceived restrictions in his life and you DO NOT want his mind going there right now.
In fact, the main reason that he is pulling away is likely something to do with feeling too tied down. Reminding him that you’re right around the corner chomping at the bit for him to come back down to the ground will have him running the other way, no doubt.
Instead, let him go for a while. An Aquarius is a social sign, and though he does indeed need his alone time, he will come back if you let him get his fill of freedom.
This can require a super Zen and patient attitude from you, but an Aquarius will deeply respect your emotional maturity and let him do him for a while. If he senses no imprisonment to run from then he will stop running… simple as that!
2. He Sees You More As A Friend
Friendship is more important to an Aquarius than romance. That is a golden rule to remember about any Aquarius guy. He’s more interested in whether you can hang out as buddies than if you have crazy physical chemistry.
Perhaps he has friend-zoned you, which looks like pulling back, romantically. Maybe he’s not even really aware that you feel a certain way for him. Truthfully, maybe he thinks you’re better as friends or doesn’t want to ruin the friendship you do have.
This is definitely not an impossible hurdle to get through – here’s how to pull him back:
Pull Him Back Strategy: Seduce Him And Show Him You’re More Than Just A Friend
Sometimes, he just needs to see the woman in you and wake up! Maybe he’s just blissfully unaware of the potential that lies between the two of you.
So, go ahead and wake him up! Arrange a coffee date, a catch-up, or better yet, a party. Dress to the nines, though not in heels or anything like that. That’s not his thing. Instead, wear a rebellious leather jacket, brush on some smokey eyes and be cool.
Flirt. Flirt with him, flirt with others. He won’t mind – he’ll see you in a whole new light!
Inspire yourself with this article on how to seduce an Aquarius man.
3. He Doesn’t Know How To Cope With Strong Feelings
Being an air sign, Aquarius men just don’t always know how to do big feelings. They may get extremely uncomfortable with emotions, and that could be a reason they pull away. They need some time to figure their feelings out.
He may even be unaware that he’s falling for you, unconsciously pulling back. This is the most frustrating because you have to have excellent intuition! And lots and lots of patience, too. He’s one of those guys that goes cold and distant in his relationships; it is just in his nature to be like that.
Aquarius is ruled by Uranus and co-ruled by Saturn, and although this is a great combination for overturning anarchies, it’s not the warmest or fuzziest combination of planets. Needless to say, they’re not going to respond with much sympathy to kicking, screaming, or tears.
Aquarians do respect the emotions of others, but they have a hard time grasping them. Being associated with technological advances, this sign is sometimes known for being a touch robotic in how they approach emotion.
If their absence and perceived lack of interest in you are stressing you out, then I understand how it could be hard to not let them know how their distance is hurting you. And you can tell them that, but they won’t respect immature emotional responses to their distance.
They’ll be a lot more likely to empathize with your plight if you lay it out in plain English, using language that isn’t blaming them for your reaction to them.
I highly recommend utilizing the “when you do x it makes me feel y” approach with the Aquarius. He’ll certainly grasp the semi-detached language. In addition, Aquarians are scientific by nature. They understand correlation and cause and effect, so this could be your winning approach. Here’s what to do to get him back:
Pull Him Back Strategy: Give Him Time And Keep Things Conversational
First of all, never make him talk about his feelings right away. Instead, give him some time and space, and keep all conversational light and breezy. Don’t forget to flirt (lightly), because the last thing you want is for him to friendzone you.
When he feels comfortable, he’ll find his way back to you – there is no force on Earth that will keep him from you once he knows how he feels about you!
4. He’s Bored
Yup, maybe he’s bored. This is a sign that needs quite a massive amount of excitement in their lives, and plenty of stimulation. He also tends to go for partners that are somewhat unusual and a bit weird. He loves the unconventional!
Maybe you’ve gotten stuck in a dating rut, or perhaps you’ve allowed things to become slightly “vanilla.” Too many Friday nights in will do that to him and have him withdrawing to figure out what he wants.
The fix of this is obvious, then:
Pull Him Back Strategy: Make Things Exciting Again
You’ve got to make things exciting again! This means inviting adventure into your relationship, trying new things, and being experimental.
Don’t go to the same restaurant – go and watch a band! Take a roundtrip, dye your hair pink, and go traveling. Hit that refresh button and he’ll come running right back!
5. He’s Unsure Of You
It may hurt to hear this, but maybe he’s just unsure of you and whether he wants this relationship. It’s a common thing – we’ve all been here before. We’ve all doubted someone and needed some time on our own to figure out what we want.
Maybe something happened, such as an ex appearing back in your life, or his. Maybe he’s got an opportunity to travel. There are other things that can be going on that make him feel uncertain.
This is a tough one to control, but here’s what you could do to pull him back:
Pull Him Back Strategy: Show Him You’re Amazing – Because You Are!
Be yourself. Be independent, enjoy your life and enjoy your friends. Be sure of how wonderful you are, remind yourself daily! Tell yourself you are a catch, that you deserve the best.
Because, once you believe this, you’ll find it’s effortless to attract a guy. Even him. And if he doesn’t come back, that really is his loss. You go, girl!
You may be reading these tips and thinking, well, am I supposed to just do nothing about him taking space away from me? Absolutely not! Dealing with the Aquarius just takes a little finesse since they’re so enigmatic.
The best thing that you can do is to take some time to yourself to really outline how his distance is affecting you. Stick to the facts here. Don’t use blaming language since this will cause him to draw farther away.
Instead, consider statements like “I know you’re one way, but I am more emotional and so when you’re distant I feel lonely.” Notice that this doesn’t demonize him for being distant, it just points out a consequence that the distance has on you.
Aquarius will respect this phrasing and will comprehend it in a better way than “Stop being like that and come home now!” Demands and ultimatums make his choice to flee make even more sense in his mind!
You might need to explore some ways of turning on his commitment buttons. Here’s a useful article that will give you an idea of what makes an Aquarius man want to commit to you.
Now that we’ve covered the reasons why he might be pulling away, let’s explore the things you need to avoid doing.
5 Things NOT To Do When An Aquarius Man Is Pulling Away
1. Chase Him
Despite commonly being mistaken for a water sign, Aquarius’ are actually air signs. This means that they do not desire the cloying depths of emotion. Rather, they want something with more openness and ease.
If an Aquarius man is pulling away, it’s important to respect his air sign nature and let him have a little time to be free. Just like an eagle needs to fly, an Aquarius needs wide open spaces too.
You chasing after him will only remind him of perceived restrictions in his life and you DO NOT want his mind going there right now.
In fact, the main reason that he is pulling away is likely something to do with feeling too tied down. Reminding him that you’re right around the corner chomping at the bit for him to come back down to the ground will have him running the other way, no doubt.
Instead, let him go for a while. An Aquarius is a social sign, and though he does indeed need his alone time, he will come back if you let him get his fill of freedom.
This can require a super Zen and patient attitude from you, but an Aquarius will deeply respect your emotional maturity and letting him do him for a while. If he senses no imprisonment to run from then he will stop running… simple as that!
2. Become Too Emotional
Aquarius is ruled by Uranus and co-ruled by Saturn, and although this is a great combination for overturning anarchies, it’s not the warmest or fuzziest combination of planets. Needless to say, they’re not going to respond with much sympathy to kicking, screaming, or tears.
Aquarians do respect emotions of others, but they have a hard time grasping them. Being associated with technological advances, this sign is sometimes known for being a touch robotic in how they approach emotion.
If their absence and perceived lack of interest in you is stressing you out, then I understand how it could be hard to not let them know how their distance is hurting you. And you can tell them that, but they won’t respect immature emotional responses to their distance.
They’ll be a lot more likely to empathize with your plight if you lay it out in plain English, using language that isn’t blaming them for your reaction to them.
I highly recommend utilizing the “When you do x it makes me feel y” approach with the Aquarius. He’ll certainly grasp the semi-detached language. In addition, Aquarians are scientific by nature. They understand correlation and cause and effect, so this could be your winning approach.
3. Restrict Him From His Friends
An Aquarius being ruled by Uranus indicates that they are heavily involved in community and groups of people. This is a recipe for someone who makes friends readily and easily.
This is all well and good, but seeing your Aquarius guy distancing himself from you but still confiding in his bros and besties is going to be hard to watch for most people… it may have you asking: “why can’t that be me?”
Despite this natural reaction, it is important to respect his need for his buddies at this time. It’s important for him to process his feelings through others. If he’s having doubts about your relationship, then he is likely seeking counsel from his friends and getting a little distance.
This is actually not the worst thing for an Aquarius. He doesn’t process emotion well alone, and his friends are a semi-neutral third party that can assist him in finding out what he really feels.
With any luck he’ll be coming back to you with a clear head courtesy of his vent sesh with his friends. They’ll likely understand that he’s detached by nature and they may encourage him to open up to you more than before… the friends are a gift for you and for him!
4. Ignore It
You may be reading these tips and thinking, well, am I supposed to just do nothing about him taking space away from me? Absolutely not! Dealing with the Aquarius just takes a little finesse since they’re so enigmatic.
The best thing that you can do is to take some time to yourself to really outline how his distance is affecting you. Stick to the facts here. Don’t use blaming language since this will cause him to draw farther away.
Instead, consider statements like “I know you’re one way, but I am more emotional and so when you’re distant I feel lonely.” Notice that this doesn’t demonize him for being distant, it just points out a consequence that the distance has on you.
Aquarius will respect this phrasing and will comprehend it in a better way than “Stop being like that and come home now!” Demands and ultimatums make his choice to flee make even more sense in his mind!
Read next: How to Tell If You Are Wasting Your Time With an Aquarius Man
5. Paint Him As The Enemy
Aquarians are likely the most naturally friendly sign of the Zodiac, perhaps tied with Libra and Gemini. He desires to be on good terms with people if he can help it.
An Aquarius is social and his planet Uranus rules friendships. He wants very much to have the light and breezy rapport of friends with you!
When you run at him blaming him and belittling him for his choices, deserved or not, he shuts right down and won’t have much to say except “I’m going to go hang out with my friends who like me now.”
My advice is to remind him that you’re both on the same team… you both really want this relationship to work!
Part of how he has to cope with emotional intimacy (decidedly not his comfort zone) is to make sure he gets some time to re-establish his independence and freedom. Him taking time away from you could be a sign that he is just trying to reconnect with himself.
Another tip is to not make everything about his distance. Take any opportunity to find some levity in the relationship and have fun. This is going to give him the green light that it’s safe to come back and get close again. It reminds him that there is more than just heavy emotional weight with you!
How To Win Him Back When He Pulls Away – Final Thoughts
You’ve definitely not made it easy on yourself by falling for an Aquarius man. These guys are so complicated and difficult to understand. They certainly like playing hot and cold, don’t they?
When it comes to winning him back when he pulls away, you need to just let him go for a bit. The last thing you want to do with an Aquarius man is to chase him because that is just going to make him run away.
You need to understand that it is completely normal for an Aquarius man to pull away when things get heated in his relationship. This is because he is so independent and freedom-loving and a relationship threatens his very existence.
All you can do with an Aquarius man is to let him be, show him that you are fun and exciting, but that you are also a woman who is understanding and isn’t going to stifle him or take his freedom away from him.
The best thing you can do is to focus on your own goals and aspirations and create a life for yourself that makes you exciting and interesting. But most importantly, be yourself! An Aquarius man loves authenticity. So give it to him!
I guarantee you; an Aquarius man will always come back, especially if you don’t chase him!
What if I told you there is still hope for you and your Aquarius man?
He might not be using you after all…
It is important that you don’t lose hope in the situation.
That not everything is lost and there is still something you can do to savor the relationship…
You would probably think I’m crazy because to you it certainly feels like your Aquarius man has given up on you, isn’t interested in you, and that the love you once shared is no longer there…
Trust me, if an Aquarius man ever liked you then there is certainly hope for the relationship to be salvaged…
Why would he sleep with someone if he didn’t like them just even a little?
There is still a lot you can do to fix the relationship with your Aquarius man…
And to make him see you for the woman you truly are!
You may feel like you are at your wit’s end, but I promise, where there was once attraction, there is certainly still hope.
It is just up to you and whether not you are serious enough about doing the work to get the results you are looking for…
And you can do this without running to him and begging him to love you again.
Everything is up to you, you have him in the palm of your hands, so it is about time that you start believing that…
Remember you are an empowered woman, so treat the situation as such!
<— Check this out on how to fix your relationship with your Aquarius man
Wishing you so much love and happiness.
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
xoxo
As an Aquarian man, you are spot on about us. I even learned some things about myself.
I wouldn’t say we like being hot and cold, but we certainly do run this way. For me, it is frustrating and comes from frustration with the woman in my life.