Aquarius Man Acting Hot And Cold: What Is His Deal?

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Aquarius Man Acting Hot And Cold: What Is His Deal?

Are you talking to or dating an Aquarius man who seemingly is hot and heavy one day and then cold as ice another? Why does he do this? Did you do something wrong? Keep reading for more information on why is your Aquarius man acting hot and cold.

6 Common Reasons An Aquarius Man Is Acting Hot And Cold

1. Getting to know him

If you’ve begun to get to know an Aquarius man and he at first seemed really enthusiastic but suddenly stopped answering your texts or emails as quickly as he used to (if at all), he may not be ready for more.

Aquarius men are very adamant about having their freedom. I’ve mentioned this in several articles. They are very attached to having time to themselves or away from their partner.

I know that’s hard to hear but as much an Aquarius may put himself out there as though he’s confident and ready to find the right person, the reality is that Aquarius men like to move really slowly.

When he doesn’t move slowly, he ends up regretting it. He’ll get excited about someone but then when he reminds himself that he can get hurt by rushing, he’ll back down or cool off.

In this case, he’ll go in all hot and heavy thinking that this is the real deal. However, when he goes to be alone again; he starts to analyze and think how quickly everything moved and if the woman is someone he’d want in the future.

Of course, he doesn’t know that answer, and so he’ll want to back up and try to start from another point. However, this always seems as though he’s going back to the “friend zone” or that he’s back peddling.

This would mean giving him time and space while remaining in a friendly space. He may just want to make sure he gets to know you more before he starts investing his heart and soul into you.

Remember that Aquarius men do not like giving up their free time unless it’s someone they feel is really worth giving it up for. That being said, he has to take his time.

Take your time in getting to know him to make sure he’s the right guy for you. Give him time to get to know you and cultivate a bond. An Aquarius man that moves too quickly is likely going to fall on his face thus turning cold.

2. Changed his mind

Man sitting alone and thinking

Aquarius men know what they’re looking for and believe me; it doesn’t take very long for him to just “know” if someone isn’t right for them. They will feel it very quickly, and so this will make him call it quits.

Sadly when an Aquarius man finds something he considers to be a flaw in someone, he will turn cold. He’s someone that can shut his feelings off like a faucet.

If he’s done, he’s done. If he decides that there is something about a woman that seems to be a deal-breaker, he’ll walk away. Instead of telling her the reason and giving her some closure though, he’ll just cut her off.

In the even the completely shuts you out, this may be the case and you may never find out why he did this. Just know that if he’s willing to shut you out due to what he perceives is a “flaw”, you should find someone better anyway.

An Aquarius man can change his mind on a dime. Everything will seem just fabulous then he’ll find one thing that he feels he cannot cope with and he’ll be done.

3. Self-sabotaging himself

If the Aquarius man happens to have low self-esteem, he will purposefully find flaws in a person so that he can use it as an excuse not to commit to them. He’ll do this when he really actually likes someone.

When I mentioned his changing feelings on a dime, this is what I’m talking about. He really likes a woman but suddenly out of nowhere he just turns into the ice king.

If he’s struggling with self-worth, he’ll take it out on the person he really likes because then it seems as though it’s not as much his fault even though it is. He’ll say “I knew she was bad news and not good for me” when it may not be true.

He gets it in his head that if she wears too much makeup (example), that he can’t stand to be around her or take her out. Then when it’s all said and done he’ll say “I knew she wouldn’t work out”.

If you feel that he’s starting to give you the cold shoulder or he’s ghosting you, you will need to ask him directly what is going on. Tell him how you feel, what you want, and what you would like to happen.

Ask him what he feels and what he sees happening. He’ll tell you the truth. He’s not forthcoming with his feelings, but he will tell you the truth if you ask him. You just need to find the courage to ask.

It’s a twisted game that the wounded Aquarius man will play but sadly, it’s rather common.

4. Testing challenges

Couple in love looking at each other

There is also the Aquarius who wants to test the potential partner to see if they can live up to what he wants. He wants to know if this person will be able to stand up through hard times and challenges.

To test her, he’ll cozy up to her and treat her very well. He will then suddenly pull back and not answer her texts and calls in a timely manner. Aquarius man wants to see how she’s going to react and if she’s able to stay calm enough.

He also wants to see if she will actually be alright with him going M.I.A when getting solitude. Aquarius really should tell his mate he needs alone time rather than ignoring her but some of them do not give their partner the courtesy.

Instead, he’ll just seemingly disappear. This leaves the partner lost, confused, and feeling potentially hurt. He isn’t thinking this through. He figures if she understands him enough, she’ll accept that sometimes he needs quiet alone time.

This is where communication becomes crucial to the person that is interested in the Aquarius man. She needs to let him know upfront that she’s there for him but please let her know when he feels he needs some solitude. Stand up!

As long as there is a level playing field, the relationship can still work out. If he cannot do that, things will always be rather rocky. It can also explain the Aquarius man being distant.

5. Legitimately forgets

Sometimes Aquarius men being distant is due to their being comfortable in their situations with partners. They may assume that their partner will know what they’re thinking and doesn’t need to say anything.

Sadly this translates to him being cold and distant when he probably didn’t actually mean to be. He just was being dense and dingy. If you’re waiting for your Aquarius guy to call you, don’t. Call him!

Also sometimes the Aquarius man becomes distant when he falls in love. It doesn’t make much sense to his partner but to him, it’s his way of flexing his independence and again, perhaps testing his lady love.

He always wants to be sure that he knows what he’s doing and what he’s doing is the right thing. Being distant is a good way to test to see if your partner steps up or down.

6. A Matter Of Comfort

If your guy seems as though he still cares for you in terms of really having a good time when he’s with you but when he’s away, but Aquarius man is acting weird, it could just be that he doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

Here’s the thing; when he becomes comfortable with someone and thinking things are solid; he may seem as though he’s cold when he’s just absent-minded.

This means that he thinks everything is perfect with you. Therefore, he doesn’t think you’ll mind if he doesn’t text you for a day or two. In his mind, there is nothing to worry about so what’s the fuss.

This is when you’ll need to let him know that it bothers you when he doesn’t get a hold of you or seems to space out. He really won’t know that you’re worried about your relationship with him.

If this is the case, open up to him. He will appreciate the truth, and you were speaking up. Aquarius is fabulous like this. Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want from him. That is how you handle a distant Aquarius man.

If he thinks it’s unreasonable, he’ll tell you, and he’ll explain why. At least you’ll then understand his side of it and can maybe find some middle ground so that you can work it out.

What You Should Do Now

If you are serious about getting this Aquarius man to fall deeply in love with you (and stop acting hot and cold once and for all – because he sees you are, in fact, “The One” for him, then  you should do two things:

  1. First, leave a comment on this post with the biggest challenge you are currently facing with your Aquarius man.
  2. Take my Aquarius man relationship compatibility quiz here.

For every person who first leaves a comment and completes the quiz, I will receive an email notification. Then, I will send you my “30 dirty little secrets about the Aquarius man” special report (a kind of roadmap to gain clarity and guidance about your relationship), Plus – I will personally respond to your comment (so make sure to enter your correct email when posting a comment about your challenge).



21 thoughts on “Aquarius Man Acting Hot And Cold: What Is His Deal?

  1. So I’m talking to an Aquarius guy 4 weeks now and and things were pretty great. We were talking all day, start opening up to each other and i could really feel a connection. Yesterday it was the first time for both of us to move to another cities for studies. We discussed that we will be visiting each other any time its possible. (By the way we haven’t talked about our relationship or if we are a thing or something). So yesterday (the day of moving) we were texting all the time, (the only time we didnt it was during our flights lol). The problem is, today he seem pretty cold and distant and i cant find out what went wrong leaving me frustrating. Any ideas what could have happened here?

    1. So, I find myself involved with an aquarius man who is committed to someone else. He was supposed to marry her but they put things on hold. For some months now. I am a gemini woman n when I first talked to him there was an instant connection. We click so much we are literally best friends. And am ashamed to admit.. We have a friends with benefits thing going on. Sometimes he says the most emotionally intense things that make me think he’s really falling for me. We can’t get enough of each other. He always wants to see me etc etc.. But sometimes hel just act cold n distant. Which leaves me confused like what the hell.?? Il yet mad n vow not to talk to him again and then he comes back again. I know he’s committed and probably won’t leave his situation and I know I have to move on but I can’t help but feel like he is my soul mate. Like were meant to be. I know it’s silly.. I feel stuck. Help!!

      1. Hi Tawina!

        I hate to say it but I don’t think you’re ever going to get anywhere with an Aquarius man who is already involved with someone else. He may have an affair but he’s not likely to jump ship to you. Are you alright being his second? If you want a man to give you his all, you’ve got to find yourself a single Aquarius man that will be all yours. Please don’t get yourself hurt. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

    2. Hi Ang!

      This is where you have to be honest and say “I feel you’ve been cold and distant and would like to know why”. He should answer you. When he does then you should open up the box about what you two are and where things are headed. If you don’t bring it up then you may never get an answer. It’s important to be strong! I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  2. We met about 9 months ago. We have some commonalities. Have expressed how happy we are spending time together, even I have said the I love yous and he said them back. He and I have spent time at his house consistently. He is letting me use the extra car and have the house key, my side of the bed…introduced me to his closest people. We have had great chemistry and care about eachother. But he tells me he isn’t ready for a relationship, he doesnt feel it, wants to cover himself now, when out if the shower. It’s lame. He is cold and won’t kiss my lips.
    He wants my friendship and take care of me, but is being distant. He thinks of me and buys me matching clothing he has but in my size…where the he’ll do I stand??!!

    1. Hi Tristan!

      Oh geez. I hate to say it but he’s friend zoned you. He wants to be around you, he wants to have all the good things of a relationship, and sex but without the strings of commitment. I am so very sorry honey. Unless you’re alright with that then you need to let him know that your friendship does not come with sex. You want a relationship or you want to move on. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  3. We have been dating for 11 months, the entire time he has been hot and cold, mood changing without a trigger or anything. But when it’s good it’s SO good.. When it’s bad it’s pretty bad.. I struggle with his lack of communication. He just recently (last month or two) started saying I love you and things have been generally good lately. The beginning was rocky due to our living situation but I feel like we have both grown and worked on several things which have helped progress our relationship. I just wish he wasn’t so wishy-washy. How do I get the true loving side of him to come out more often and get him to really open up and trust me and our relationship?

    1. Hi Amber H.

      Aquarius men are the strong silent type, I’m afraid. The female Aquarius is actually a bit more emotional but she’s got hormones he doesn’t have so that’s why. Aquarius men don’t like discussing their feelings and if you want to know anything, you have to ask him questions. He will tell you the truth but you have to ask or other wise he won’t tell. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  4. I have an Aquarian that also goes cold. We are best friends. He says friendship only, but he flirts with often, until he went cold. He Offers to help me do things at my house. Offers to take me to dinner. Comes to my house for dinner. Then al of a sudden just dropped off the grid. I was the last one to text, and he has not replied. If we are friends, shouldn’t he at least give me the courtesy of texting back?
    We have not been intimate, but he and I are on same dating site. I messaged him and told him I was his girl. He said no. He says he is not looking for a relationship however, on the dating site it says he’s actively seeking a partner. What’s up with that? I’m ghosting him right back. Btw. He replies to every single post on FB.

    1. Hi Kimberly!

      It sounds like he’s not being entirely honest with you and since you’re not his girlfriend, he’s feeling he doesn’t have to tell you anything. I think I’d be asking him what is it he wants. That way you’ll know for sure but you have to believe him when he tells you. If you don’t then you’re going to forever be confused. Be careful honey. He sounds non-committal. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  5. When I’m with my Aquarius man, everything is wonderful, we get along so well, he’s like my best friend. When we’re apart however, he does seem very distant but I think that’s just how he is. He would rather show you how he feels about you rather than tell you or text it to you. I wish he wasn’t so distant but that’s just the way he is and it’s not a terrible thing either. He likes his space and I like mine so I’m okay with it, I know that the next time I’m with him he will show me how much he likes and cares about me.

    1. Well I have read all the comments and I can tell you one thing. Aquarius men are hot in person and cold when not in front of you. What we need to realize is that everybody loves differently and the aquarius does not love like in the story books. I have struggled with it but I realize that it is nothing personal I think we take it personal that is why it hurts us. Every time I feel alone, I pray to God and communicate with God. We need to be super busy as well to not count the time. I heard of an aquarius who does not get jealous because he trust his gf but we all low key like when our bf does but they hide it

    2. Hi Kit Kat!

      It sounds that despite his personality, you still like him and go along with it. That’s the right approach. As long as it’s not depriving you too much. Unconditional love is something everyone should achieve. You’re accepting him “as is” and that’s important. He needs to be doing the same for you. Is he? I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  6. My Aquarian man has gone somewhat cold as well. Not as rapid fire with his texting. & seemed to stop asking questions about me and only making statements. I’m a Sagittarius so I only know to give space and reciprocate with statements and not engage.

    1. Hi Emily!

      You’re doing a good tactic but you shouldn’t accept him going quiet all the time. He needs to find middle ground that works for you both, not just for him. Speak up and talk to him about this. Tell him you’d like a smidgen more from him. It’s likely he won’t mind and will work for it. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  7. So this aqua man has been trying to get me for 6 months!! he has been so persistent in trying to win me over constantly asking me out for dates and i have been shooting him down! just after lock down (i live in NZ we came out early) i gave him a chance and it has been so good, we havent been on dates yet due to lockdown but i see him twice a week we talk all the time. he turned to me and said he wants to take things slow which is fine. he has said he wants a relationship with me, however its now been a month and hes still saying he wants to go slow and that i havent been chilled enough even when i dont ask to see him i do it on his terms. He has recently also had a nasty streek in him which has now made me nervous. Should i as a LEO just back off straight away and let him do the chasing. I dont want to talk away from this has he has tried for so long but right now im confused to why hes gone like ice.

    1. Hi Louise!

      If he’s being cold toward you then you should probably tell him that he is. He may not be purposefully doing it or may not be aware he is doing it. Tell him and then if he still does it then you can just back off a bit and see what he does. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  8. I’ve been dating an Aquarius man for 8 months with a complicated beginning and misunderstanding. When we see each other, it’s just perfect: amazing emotional and physical connection. It has been on and off from my side because I thought it was only casual for him and I was looking for more. I’ve tried to end up many times because I wanted to have something more serious with him but always came back… yes, I really really like him. Every time we talked about it, he was telling me that he needed some time, he was moving slowly… Additionally, he has a low self esteem and have really trust issues so he was always thinking that I was dating other men. He is barely sharing about himself when he does, it’s just so great.
    In May, I’ve decided to move to another country for my job thinking he wouldn’t care and it would have helped me to move on from him. This is when things have changed even before I told him I was moving. He opened himself more, even told me that we could be roommates in an apartment with 2 bedrooms.
    I left the US in July and since then we keep talking, video calling… he is always sweet and asks me many questions about my « new life ». Most of the time I’m the one who initiates the calls and texts but he answers all the time. Lately, he even told me that some people could fall in love in long distance relationship (??!). I also told him that I wanted to see him again and he agreed on finding a common place where to meet once the pandemic situation would be better. But is he really going to do it?!
    He also « warn » me to not come back for vacation for one or two weeks (like it would be too tough to deal with it…). If I say I miss you, he answers and says I miss you too but barely initiates that kind of words.
    I don’t know what to think… If he is really into me or just being nice and polite because he knows how much I care? If he is really into me, how can I make a long distance relationship works with an Aquarius? Should I be patient and stay in close contact with him before coming back to the US?
    I’m 41 years old, he’s 42, we both are still single, with previous heartbreaking long relationship and for me it’s the first time I feel that kind of so strong connection with a man.
    Thank you for your help!

    1. Hi Claire!

      Ouch long distance can sometimes be an issue for an Aquarius. They do love their space and freedom but if they feel someone isn’t “there” for them, they tend to want to move on. I’m worried that you two aren’t communicating your feelings enough. Aquarius isn’t forthcoming with their emotions and what they want. Ask him questions honey. You need to know what his intention is and what he wants. He isn’t going to volunteer to tell you unless you ask him. Typical Aquarius. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  9. Update:
    My biggest challenge is the hot and cold.
    Well I have read all the comments and I can tell you one thing. Aquarius men are hot in person and cold when not in front of you. What we need to realize is that everybody loves differently and the aquarius does not love like in the story books. I have struggled with it but I realize that it is nothing personal I think we take it personal that is why it hurts us. Every time I feel alone, I pray to God and communicate with God. We need to be super busy as well to not count the time. I heard of an aquarius who does not get jealous because he trust his gf but we all low key like when our bf does but they hide it

    1. Hi Leo Girl!

      Ah yes, the hot and cold Aquarius. Yes, you got that right. When Aquarius is away, they fill their mind with other things such as work, friends, family, projects, etc. They aren’t thinking about missing their partner very much. Even if they do miss their partner, they take for granted that they will see them again so why worry. The problem is, they don’t communicate as much as they should and makes their partner feel lonely or abandoned. You need to communicate to him that you need a bit more so that you can feel that things are solid between you. Be honest. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

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