Aquarius Man Hot And Cold — Why They Do This & How To Handle It

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
Why is your Aquarius man hot one day and then cold as ice another? Discover 6 common reasons an Aquarius man is acting hot and cold.

So you’ve set your sights on an Aquarius man, but you have noticed that he tends to blow hot and cold. You might be wondering why are Aquarius so hot and cold? One minute he is all over you, and then the next you haven’t heard from him in days. Did you do something wrong?

Well, let me tell you, Aquarius men are seriously one of a kind, so I’m not surprised that so many of my clients come to me asking for advice about them. They can’t help but grab attention wherever they go! Aquarius man hot and cold is not rare but it can be very confusing to try and understand him.

Let’s start with what makes your Aquarius man so damn attractive. You have probably noticed he’s quite the progressive visionary; always thinking outside of the box and eager to revolutionize the world around him. 

Your Aquarius lives in his mind – his intellect drives him. He’s a deep thinker and ever so ambitious and can be quite inventive once he focuses his ideas into a clear goal.

His rebellious nature makes him quite the individualist and he craves independence and freedom. No wonder you find him so sexy! We would all like to say that we tamed the untameable beast.  

You might be thinking, “but at the beginning of our relationship, everything was so perfect. He was so loving and caring and now I barely hear from him!” So, what actually happened to the sweet and attentive partner you once knew?

Why Are Aquarius So Cold?

Aquarius is an air Zodiac sign. He is an independent and unpredictable creature. Air signs are not as emotional as water signs, so an Aquarius man can be emotionally detached, very observant, and have strong defense mechanisms. Their nature is unique, and they often wonder why people do what they do.

All of the above can make them seem less affectionate and cold in their relationships. In fact, he could be affectionate one moment and then abruptly become distant and cold the next. It is very confusing for his woman to understand why he acts this way.

It is not because he is not interested, but because he wants individuality and has a strong need for independence.

This is why he can become indecisive when it comes to committed relationships. It is important to mention that Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, a planet of change and unpredictability, which can also contribute to his hot and cold behavior.

Aquarius Man Acting Weird — 4 Possible Reasons Of Aquarius Man Hot And Cold Behavior

His emotions aren’t that accessible to him

Aquarius men are known for suddenly disappearing. More often than not, it’s because he’s overthinking things, which stresses him out and makes him go distant. 

The downside of him being so cerebral and intelligent is that he can quite often get stuck in his head! Emotions and feelings totally freak him out – he’s completely uncomfortable with whatever he can’t rationally explain!

Feeling deep emotion is uncharted territory for an Aquarius. Things might be moving a bit too quickly for him and he’s feeling unsure about how to process what he is feeling towards you. He’d rather go quiet and start ignoring your calls and texts.

If you struggle with getting your Aquarius man to open up and finding the right words to make him feel special, I strongly suggest getting my Aquarius Man Love Language guide. It will help you finally speak the same love language as him, and make your bond so much stronger.

When an Aquarius man goes hot and cold, he doesn’t mean to hurt you; he just doesn’t know how else to act. If he’s bad at his own emotions, then trust me, he’s quite terrible at knowing how to handle yours!

If you react too harshly and too emotionally, it might trigger a similar experience he had with an ex that makes him shiver with terror. Try your best to remain cool and calm, and show him you have a handle on your emotions. 

Becoming hysterical is a sure way to get him to retreat and disappear. Giving you the cold shoulder is his defense mechanism. For him, detaching is the only way he knows how to handle stress.

Discover more ways to get an Aquarius man to open up and share his feelings.

He’s afraid of losing his individual identity

Your Aquarius man loves his freedom – he wants his space and autonomy. He does what he wants when he wants to. Being seen as an individual is high on his priorities. 

Aquarius men love being unpredictable and going on last-minute adventures. The last thing he wants or needs is having a clingy girlfriend calling him every five minutes asking where he is. 

Independence is part of your Aquarian’s identity, and knowing his very stubborn nature, it’s quite unlikely going to change any time soon. He knows exactly who he is, and lives by his truth.

You might perceive this behavior as quite selfish, but in all honesty, your Aquarius will never misrepresent himself or pretend to be something or someone he is not. It’s just not in his nature to be a fake and fraud. 

It is never his intention to hurt you, but unfortunately, his number one priority is himself. He will fight for his freedom and individuality, no matter the consequences.

You’re not enough of a challenge for him

Everything goes back to the mind and intellect when it comes to an Aquarius. You might not know this, but his sign is actually ruled by Saturn in Astrology. The planet of restrictions, limitations, and challenges.

He does not expect anything to come easy in life, because nothing ever has. Everything your Aquarius has today, he has worked his ass off for his entire life. So, the same can be said for the woman he chooses for his life. He wants to work for her, and earn his spot in her heart. 

This is the one man that playing hard to get is a right turn-on for him, but be genuine about it! Don’t play games with him, simply have a full schedule! Be interesting, be an asset. 

He loves seeing you pursuing your dreams and living life to the fullest. He wants a partner who doesn’t need a man to fulfill her – a loving partner is just the cherry on top of an already exciting life for her. 

If you want to keep your Aquarius man interested, keep as busy as possible. Indulge in all your hobbies, see friends often and work towards your goals. He honestly finds nothing sexier than a woman living her life to the fullest.

An absolute turn-off for him would be having you pursue him and be too available! He wants to feel challenged and excited by the prospect of chasing you. If you make things too easy for him, he’ll more than likely get bored and start pulling away.

His impossibly high ideals

Aquarius is also the sign of hopes, dreams, and ideals. He often has a set-out ideal of what he wants and aspires to have in a woman. Aquarius doesn’t seem like the type to HAVE a type, but trust me does. He’s quite stubborn, remember?

Often, he might start dating a woman because he sees her potential and tries to mold her into his ideal. He sees an image he has conjured up himself and often overlooks the person standing right in front of him. 

And then when his fantasy starts merging with reality, and he sees you’re not quite what he imagined, it can all start to crumble down. And this is when he starts to get weird and distant.  

Aquarius men have impossibly high standards; they won’t settle for anything less than the best. This can put a lot of pressure on you, his woman, to be perfect all the time. He seems to forget that he isn’t perfect either. A little humility would do him a world of good.

Learn more about Aquarius man specific love language <<

What To Do When An Aquarius Man Blows Hot And Cold?

The most important thing you can do when your Aquarius goes distant is to accept it, be mature, and let him breathe for a second.

His aloofness might not even have anything to do with you, so don’t give him any reason to start avoiding you! Give him space to sort through his thoughts and most importantly his feelings. Do not chase him! This is the key to having him come back. 

He’s pretty unpredictable, so when he does come back and acts all hot and interested again, make sure you keep things cool! Keep things light. Resist bringing up your feelings and overwhelming him.

Act a little unpredictable yourself, like scheduling a date he would never expect from you.

One thing is for sure, your Aquarius man is here to challenge you and to help you grow. So, you might as well think outside the box and push your own set of boundaries. Be unique and embrace your authentic self.

How To Emotionally Connect With An Aquarius Man When He Becomes Distant?

His life will be transformed when the right person emerges and shows him love as he has never experienced it, as well as patience and diligence. He will either tell her everything at once or divulge enough information so that she understands it.

When an Aquarius man becomes distant, be patient. Communication that is open and honest is essential in any relationship, and this one is no exception.Uranus brings sudden changes and anxiety, and as a result, he may withdraw.

It is important to give him the space he needs so he can sort out his feelings rationally since he will be thinking and planning ahead of time and it can be overwhelming for him.

Do not frequently text him. The more you text Aquarius men about where they are and what they are up to, the more they may feel the pressure, which isn’t good. It will take him time to recharge and be his old self. Give him space to do so.

FAQ On Aquarius Man Being Cold And Distant

Are you struggling to figure out what to do about your Aquarius man and how he feels about you when he is distant? Well, luckily for you I have compiled a list of questions that might come up in your relationship.

Hopefully, this can help you navigate your relationship with him.

How To Play Mind Games With An Aquarius Man? 

There are a few ways to do this, but it all comes down to keeping an Aquarius man on his toes, guessing, and very confused. Then, just at the point when you think he’s going to pull away, you become your charming self once more.

So, act like you are unpredictable and spontaneous like he is. Challenge his opinion, because they enjoy the “chase”, and it’s fun for them. Aquarius man likes debating and enjoys mental challenges!

Why An Aquarius Man Becomes Distant When Everything Seemed To Be Going Well?

His disinterest in having a relationship with you is a possible reason for an Aquarius man to act distant. He is not sure about his feelings for you, and this is why he blows hot and cold. You can’t figure out what happened when he suddenly pulled back!

It may be that he does not want to hurt your feelings and does not want to tell you what it is.

Stop Crying Yourself To Sleep About Your Aquarius Man

It can be SO painful to worry about how to make things work with an Aquarius man who won’t commit.

I know. I’ve been there with many of my friends dating Aquarius guys. I remember my very close friend crying herself to sleep at night, worried that her man would never commit to her.

She lost sleep, time, and even work hours, all because she couldn’t figure out how to capture his heart and get him to commit.

As a friend, it was hard to watch her go through that. But I knew how good he was for her, and I didn’t want her to give up on him.

Even when our other friends were telling her to move on, I could see that he was the most incredible man she had ever met.

How could she just give up on that?

But it wasn’t easy. It took a LOT of work.

She had to learn how to speak a different language… his love language.

And it worked!! So if you are ready to sleep like a baby… Knowing your Aquarius man is MADLY in love with you…

And never feel anxious about him again…

>> Go here now and learn to speak your Aquarius man’s love language.



About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

54 thoughts on “Aquarius Man Hot And Cold — Why They Do This & How To Handle It

  1. So I’m talking to an Aquarius guy 4 weeks now and and things were pretty great. We were talking all day, start opening up to each other and i could really feel a connection. Yesterday it was the first time for both of us to move to another cities for studies. We discussed that we will be visiting each other any time its possible. (By the way we haven’t talked about our relationship or if we are a thing or something). So yesterday (the day of moving) we were texting all the time, (the only time we didnt it was during our flights lol). The problem is, today he seem pretty cold and distant and i cant find out what went wrong leaving me frustrating. Any ideas what could have happened here?

    1. So, I find myself involved with an aquarius man who is committed to someone else. He was supposed to marry her but they put things on hold. For some months now. I am a gemini woman n when I first talked to him there was an instant connection. We click so much we are literally best friends. And am ashamed to admit.. We have a friends with benefits thing going on. Sometimes he says the most emotionally intense things that make me think he’s really falling for me. We can’t get enough of each other. He always wants to see me etc etc.. But sometimes hel just act cold n distant. Which leaves me confused like what the hell.?? Il yet mad n vow not to talk to him again and then he comes back again. I know he’s committed and probably won’t leave his situation and I know I have to move on but I can’t help but feel like he is my soul mate. Like were meant to be. I know it’s silly.. I feel stuck. Help!!

      1. Hi Tawina!

        I hate to say it but I don’t think you’re ever going to get anywhere with an Aquarius man who is already involved with someone else. He may have an affair but he’s not likely to jump ship to you. Are you alright being his second? If you want a man to give you his all, you’ve got to find yourself a single Aquarius man that will be all yours. Please don’t get yourself hurt. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

    2. Hi Ang!

      This is where you have to be honest and say “I feel you’ve been cold and distant and would like to know why”. He should answer you. When he does then you should open up the box about what you two are and where things are headed. If you don’t bring it up then you may never get an answer. It’s important to be strong! I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  2. We met about 9 months ago. We have some commonalities. Have expressed how happy we are spending time together, even I have said the I love yous and he said them back. He and I have spent time at his house consistently. He is letting me use the extra car and have the house key, my side of the bed…introduced me to his closest people. We have had great chemistry and care about eachother. But he tells me he isn’t ready for a relationship, he doesnt feel it, wants to cover himself now, when out if the shower. It’s lame. He is cold and won’t kiss my lips.
    He wants my friendship and take care of me, but is being distant. He thinks of me and buys me matching clothing he has but in my size…where the he’ll do I stand??!!

    1. Hi Tristan!

      Oh geez. I hate to say it but he’s friend zoned you. He wants to be around you, he wants to have all the good things of a relationship, and sex but without the strings of commitment. I am so very sorry honey. Unless you’re alright with that then you need to let him know that your friendship does not come with sex. You want a relationship or you want to move on. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  3. We have been dating for 11 months, the entire time he has been hot and cold, mood changing without a trigger or anything. But when it’s good it’s SO good.. When it’s bad it’s pretty bad.. I struggle with his lack of communication. He just recently (last month or two) started saying I love you and things have been generally good lately. The beginning was rocky due to our living situation but I feel like we have both grown and worked on several things which have helped progress our relationship. I just wish he wasn’t so wishy-washy. How do I get the true loving side of him to come out more often and get him to really open up and trust me and our relationship?

    1. Hi Amber H.

      Aquarius men are the strong silent type, I’m afraid. The female Aquarius is actually a bit more emotional but she’s got hormones he doesn’t have so that’s why. Aquarius men don’t like discussing their feelings and if you want to know anything, you have to ask him questions. He will tell you the truth but you have to ask or other wise he won’t tell. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  4. I have an Aquarian that also goes cold. We are best friends. He says friendship only, but he flirts with often, until he went cold. He Offers to help me do things at my house. Offers to take me to dinner. Comes to my house for dinner. Then al of a sudden just dropped off the grid. I was the last one to text, and he has not replied. If we are friends, shouldn’t he at least give me the courtesy of texting back?
    We have not been intimate, but he and I are on same dating site. I messaged him and told him I was his girl. He said no. He says he is not looking for a relationship however, on the dating site it says he’s actively seeking a partner. What’s up with that? I’m ghosting him right back. Btw. He replies to every single post on FB.

    1. Hi Kimberly!

      It sounds like he’s not being entirely honest with you and since you’re not his girlfriend, he’s feeling he doesn’t have to tell you anything. I think I’d be asking him what is it he wants. That way you’ll know for sure but you have to believe him when he tells you. If you don’t then you’re going to forever be confused. Be careful honey. He sounds non-committal. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  5. When I’m with my Aquarius man, everything is wonderful, we get along so well, he’s like my best friend. When we’re apart however, he does seem very distant but I think that’s just how he is. He would rather show you how he feels about you rather than tell you or text it to you. I wish he wasn’t so distant but that’s just the way he is and it’s not a terrible thing either. He likes his space and I like mine so I’m okay with it, I know that the next time I’m with him he will show me how much he likes and cares about me.

    1. Well I have read all the comments and I can tell you one thing. Aquarius men are hot in person and cold when not in front of you. What we need to realize is that everybody loves differently and the aquarius does not love like in the story books. I have struggled with it but I realize that it is nothing personal I think we take it personal that is why it hurts us. Every time I feel alone, I pray to God and communicate with God. We need to be super busy as well to not count the time. I heard of an aquarius who does not get jealous because he trust his gf but we all low key like when our bf does but they hide it

    2. Hi Kit Kat!

      It sounds that despite his personality, you still like him and go along with it. That’s the right approach. As long as it’s not depriving you too much. Unconditional love is something everyone should achieve. You’re accepting him “as is” and that’s important. He needs to be doing the same for you. Is he? I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  6. My Aquarian man has gone somewhat cold as well. Not as rapid fire with his texting. & seemed to stop asking questions about me and only making statements. I’m a Sagittarius so I only know to give space and reciprocate with statements and not engage.

    1. Hi Emily!

      You’re doing a good tactic but you shouldn’t accept him going quiet all the time. He needs to find middle ground that works for you both, not just for him. Speak up and talk to him about this. Tell him you’d like a smidgen more from him. It’s likely he won’t mind and will work for it. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  7. So this aqua man has been trying to get me for 6 months!! he has been so persistent in trying to win me over constantly asking me out for dates and i have been shooting him down! just after lock down (i live in NZ we came out early) i gave him a chance and it has been so good, we havent been on dates yet due to lockdown but i see him twice a week we talk all the time. he turned to me and said he wants to take things slow which is fine. he has said he wants a relationship with me, however its now been a month and hes still saying he wants to go slow and that i havent been chilled enough even when i dont ask to see him i do it on his terms. He has recently also had a nasty streek in him which has now made me nervous. Should i as a LEO just back off straight away and let him do the chasing. I dont want to talk away from this has he has tried for so long but right now im confused to why hes gone like ice.

    1. Hi Louise!

      If he’s being cold toward you then you should probably tell him that he is. He may not be purposefully doing it or may not be aware he is doing it. Tell him and then if he still does it then you can just back off a bit and see what he does. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

    2. omg… is this real? y’all have my same problems from first post to last. seriously, i’ve been dealing with an aquarius man for the last decade. i cannot. when we first met, he chased me like crazy. even flew to my city to ask me out on a date. (he moved to another city which coincidentally was where i was from and where i was the night before and saw him in a group setting. also, he was originally from the city i was currently living in at the time and we knew the same people.) i was always attracted to him because he’s f*cking attractive. check all those boxes, intelligent, wildly successful, charming, handsome, real (serial) killer vibes lol. but i had a long term bf and didn’t entertain my attraction to him and actually made a conscious effort at keeping my distance whenever i saw him, small talk etc. anyway, at this point i was single and he was literally in my city the next day. he came to my work and just beelined right up to me and asked me out for a drink. i was like what are you doing here? i just saw you last night in a different city? you knew i flew back this morning but never mentioned you were planning on coming here? he ignored all those questions and was like, “can i take you out?” the confidence in this guy! from there, i was into just him, it was long distance, long phone calls, flew me out to see him once a month and he always had something amazing planned. holy cow i was smitten. after 9 months or so of this, i thought he was the one so i moved to his city (back to where i was originally from). great first few months. he was excited that i was moving back, introduced me to his colleagues and friends, weekends away, then cold cold cold. broke up with me. i was devastated, but i mean what am i gonna do? i’m a leo and i don’t fight for anyone who doesn’t fight for me. lol it’s a problem, i wear my pride over my heart on my sleeve. but then a few months later, he’s back in my life. he says he wants to try it again. and it’s the same old thing. 4x this happens over a course of 5 YEARS. and omg i don’t know what’s wrong with me because it’s not like me to go back with an ex. like when it’s done i’m usually done. but he comes back in and sweeps me off my feet just like the very first time. and it’s not like i jump each time he comes back, i’m always like no let’s just be friends. i’m dating other people, etc. but he just does it for me. finally, i’m the one who ends up breaking up with him for the last time because he was repeating the same fire to ice mannerisms and certainly was about to break up with me again. like i’m old now. i need to get out of this same pattern. i don’t want to be friends. please just let me get away from this frustrating man and get on with my life. and i do. i meet someone else, a virgo. in that time the aquarius tries to be friendly. a text here and there, an email, wishing me a hbd, shares something funny, etc. i don’t offer much in response. i’m in another relationship. ffwd 5 years later, i’m still with virgo. but we’re having problems. we’re talking about separation. enter same old aquarius, offering his friendship and then some. tells me he’s so happy i’m back in his life in some capacity. he’s had such a hard year and he’s woke now to all his bullshit. been in therapy. been grappling with his own issues and finally he’s in the best place of his life. still thinks about me., etc. i’m like let’s just be friends because i heard all this before and i’m not in the best place of my life and still in a relationship. albeit, a crumbling one but let’s not complicate my life any more than it is. our friendship is a great one. our energy feeds off each other. we have lunch. we go for coffee. we walk around the city for hours. we have so much to talk about and so much to catch up on. there’s of course the underlying flirtation that’s always kind of intoxicating. and now he’s back to not responding to texts lol. like overnight, even in our friendship. even when i’m not asking for anything more. so, it’s cathartic for me to go on here and have some real epiphanies while reading everyone else’s experiences with these wildly confusing aquarius men. and reading this has really allowed me to take his hot and cold in stride as well as keeping tabs on my ego by not taking it all so personally. something i would’ve never been able to do before. oh and i’ve always been up front with him about his hot and cold and unresponsiveness while we were dating. didn’t change a thing which only aggravated me even more! lol because it’s true, people love so different from each other. my virgo is the opposite from the aquarius. tho both will never let on that they adore me as much as i want them to. maybe my next love will be a pisces ? i hope y’all get what i got from you by reading about my experience with my one and only… AQUARIUS man.

  8. I’ve been dating an Aquarius man for 8 months with a complicated beginning and misunderstanding. When we see each other, it’s just perfect: amazing emotional and physical connection. It has been on and off from my side because I thought it was only casual for him and I was looking for more. I’ve tried to end up many times because I wanted to have something more serious with him but always came back… yes, I really really like him. Every time we talked about it, he was telling me that he needed some time, he was moving slowly… Additionally, he has a low self esteem and have really trust issues so he was always thinking that I was dating other men. He is barely sharing about himself when he does, it’s just so great.
    In May, I’ve decided to move to another country for my job thinking he wouldn’t care and it would have helped me to move on from him. This is when things have changed even before I told him I was moving. He opened himself more, even told me that we could be roommates in an apartment with 2 bedrooms.
    I left the US in July and since then we keep talking, video calling… he is always sweet and asks me many questions about my « new life ». Most of the time I’m the one who initiates the calls and texts but he answers all the time. Lately, he even told me that some people could fall in love in long distance relationship (??!). I also told him that I wanted to see him again and he agreed on finding a common place where to meet once the pandemic situation would be better. But is he really going to do it?!
    He also « warn » me to not come back for vacation for one or two weeks (like it would be too tough to deal with it…). If I say I miss you, he answers and says I miss you too but barely initiates that kind of words.
    I don’t know what to think… If he is really into me or just being nice and polite because he knows how much I care? If he is really into me, how can I make a long distance relationship works with an Aquarius? Should I be patient and stay in close contact with him before coming back to the US?
    I’m 41 years old, he’s 42, we both are still single, with previous heartbreaking long relationship and for me it’s the first time I feel that kind of so strong connection with a man.
    Thank you for your help!

    1. Hi Claire!

      Ouch long distance can sometimes be an issue for an Aquarius. They do love their space and freedom but if they feel someone isn’t “there” for them, they tend to want to move on. I’m worried that you two aren’t communicating your feelings enough. Aquarius isn’t forthcoming with their emotions and what they want. Ask him questions honey. You need to know what his intention is and what he wants. He isn’t going to volunteer to tell you unless you ask him. Typical Aquarius. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  9. Update:
    My biggest challenge is the hot and cold.
    Well I have read all the comments and I can tell you one thing. Aquarius men are hot in person and cold when not in front of you. What we need to realize is that everybody loves differently and the aquarius does not love like in the story books. I have struggled with it but I realize that it is nothing personal I think we take it personal that is why it hurts us. Every time I feel alone, I pray to God and communicate with God. We need to be super busy as well to not count the time. I heard of an aquarius who does not get jealous because he trust his gf but we all low key like when our bf does but they hide it

    1. Hi Leo Girl!

      Ah yes, the hot and cold Aquarius. Yes, you got that right. When Aquarius is away, they fill their mind with other things such as work, friends, family, projects, etc. They aren’t thinking about missing their partner very much. Even if they do miss their partner, they take for granted that they will see them again so why worry. The problem is, they don’t communicate as much as they should and makes their partner feel lonely or abandoned. You need to communicate to him that you need a bit more so that you can feel that things are solid between you. Be honest. I suggest you read my book for more help. Check out “Aquarius Man Secrets” when you can.

  10. I’ve been talking with an Aquarius man on and off for about 9 months now. I’m an Aries female. He’s extremely hot and cold going from one day talking about us getting in a serious relationship and talking about a future to the next being cold and distant and not wanting to talk. I think it’s good news that he’s actually considering and even mentioning commitment as I know most Aquarius are afraid of that. I also think he genuinely likes me as his compliments are not geared towards my looks but rather my intellect and ambition (and occasionally my looks). I’m just not sure where I stand with him since it seems like it’s different every few minutes. Overall it seems positive but I don’t want to continue interacting with him if it doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere. At the same time thought we have so much in common and such a great connection that I would love for it to work out.

    1. Hi S!

      Extremes can be frustrating for sure. It sounds like he maybe doesn’t know what he wants so since he’s confused, he’s reflecting this in his behavior. I would talk to him and try to get it all out on the table so that you two can be on the same page and decide what happens from there. Tell him how you feel and what you want and ask him to do the same. Find a common road you two can travel down together. Communication is VERY important sweetheart. You could actually pull this off in a good way!

  11. Hi, it’s been a roller coaster but still we have a connection. I met my Mr Aquarian online, loads of jokes and easy going banter. Then we met in person and he was hot and heavy, while I thought to myself we need to slow down and get to know each other. Hours later he takes the first flight home OS as his father had a covid scare. Weeks of online chat and I have reacted to his hot cold nature in typical fiery Aries style while he rides it out like a trouper!
    But the passive-aggressive put downs got the better of me in the end and I drew the line and went.
    I missed him so much I came back to offer friendship. He accepted immediately, understood my side of the issue and things were great but now cooled off, quite abruptly.
    I don’t know whether to just act cool and casual or tell him how I feel. Is he doing the hot cold test now or just being nice by talking to me again. One day he’s all warm and blowing kisses, next day it’s suddenly ‘glad you’re well, take care’.

    1. Hi Nicole!

      I think you do need to tell him how you feel. You also need to ask him how he feels and where he sees things going between you. It’s important to get this out in the open so you can make it happen or you can get the closure you need to give up on the romantic side of the friendship. He could be just being nice but then again, he may want to be with you and isn’t sure if you’ll want him too. Go for it!

  12. Wow i thought i am the one facing this nonsense . His hot n cold just puts me off . I am currently in love with him nd it is killing my ass . He is aquarius sun with scorpio moon and it is damn hard to understand his intense behaviour .
    Today we will talk like best friend and joke about every thing , then lovers next day and BOOM like total strangers . It always pisses me off but i gotta be patient which i don’t kinda have considering my aries moon but i am a gemini sun . He will just say when we are joking together that i don’t want you to hate me please and i will say i won’t then back too our normal conversation but i really don’t understand him . I am trying but i need communication

    1. Hi Laura!

      Oh yes, that’s a combo that can be confusing. Scorpio moon makes him moody, indecisive, and quick to anger or sadness. Aquarius wants order out of chaos and Scorpio can create chaos so to blend that is a difficult mix even for himself. He sounds very confused and I think it would be a good idea to be direct and ask him questions so that you can find out what is going on with him. I know it’s not easy but with an Aquarius, they will typically tell you if you ask them. Go for it and give it a try. If you need more help, please check out “Aquarius Man Secrets”.

  13. We have been seeing each other for 9 months an everything seemed fine. Seen each other about twice a week but contact nearly everyday. My last contact from him via text was fine an normal. I responded an he has not even read it. Left him a day an text again! Again not read it or responded tho I can see he is active on line! What do I do?

    1. Hi Claire!

      Hmm… time to pull back and him worry. He’s getting bored with the routine and needs to have a little “me” time. Let him have it. Keep busy and don’t message him. If he truly cares then he’ll miss you and get nervous he might lose you thus he will reach out. I now it sounds weird but I have heard from many women that use that technique and it works. If you need more help, check out my book “Aquarius Man Secrets”.

      1. Hi Anna,
        I’ve been exchanging emails from morning till night with an Aquarius for months now and getting quite restless about his “business” and the need to meet “when we can have enough time”. Moreover, when I ask him why he never calls, he simply ignores the question. When I try ghosting him, he asks where I am… To all other questons he has rather calm and legitimate answers but for the life of me I can not understand the urge to keep the communication online, while claiming he wants more and that there’s noone else… Am I an idiot? (wouldn’t be the first time so I can’t tell whether I’m just projecting and if it’s some torture my Pluto 7th house Libra opp Venus in Aries is making me endure.. or he is a lunatic that keeps me for some sort of last resort.. :D)
        Thank you in advance!

        1. Hi Eminac!

          Wow that’s a lot of emails! Impressive. It is very odd he won’t talk on the phone. I know he says there is no one else but I don’t believe that due to his lack of desire to communicate via phone. He should be texting, calling, and doing video chats if he’s really interested in you. Emails are cool and all but it’s a very easy way to hide who someone really is. He could be lying about his sign, his marital status, and even that he’s a man. It’s way to sketchy. See it for what it is and tell him if he won’t talk to you on the phone or video chat then you will go ahead and move on. That may motivate him but if he’s being dishonest, he will just disappear. I wish you the best!

  14. Hi Anna!

    I dated an Aquarius on and off over the summer – we’d both just come out of long term relationships (one year ago) and I was travelling non stop but we’d always reconnect when I was back. He was always hot and cold though with his emotions and when I asked him why he said he was still trying to figure out what he wants post breakup.

    He then disappeared for a few months, so I left him to it. I found out he’d been sleeping with many many women and then taken one girl on a secret holiday, his friends knew of the girl but not about the holiday.

    We were back in touch in January and Feb and had planned to meet up and we’re getting along so well! He began his hot and cold antics and I pulled him up on it, he asked me what I wanted out of this and I simply said to see him and go from there. I then asked him what he wanted and he has disappeared with no response.

    We were introduced through friends and I’m sure it won’t be the last time I see him. What should I do? I felt so happy he was back in my life and now so sad he’s gone again!

    Julie x

    1. Hi Julie F!

      If he’s sleeping around like that then he probably did make up his mind which is to remain single for a while longer. His shutting you out is a way of showing you he’s not ready to be in a relationship. When you asked him what he wanted then he disappeared, he was effectively giving you an answer. I am sorry things went this way but know that not all Aquarius men are like this. Let go and continue dating others. I wish you all the best!

      1. Hii anna mam
        Actually from three and four days the guy is not replying my texts. Last time when we talked is on 27th night on a video call and he said that he will himself message me when he’ll be free but now after three or four days he still not replying. What should I do now?

        1. Hi Isha,

          Before you can have a serious relationship with the Aquarius man, you need to build a friendship with him first.
          The Aquarius male typically will take his time when forming a relationship. So, while he’s getting to know you, try your best not to come on too strong. If you text him too often, he will think you’re needy. I hope this situation will be resolved in your favor.

  15. Aquarius man and I dated for a short while but we both had to move elsewhere for work. We still talk and flirt via text (and occasional video calls) and I do feel the warmth from his side. With the distance barrier and him being Aquarius, how I do foster a deeper connection (e.g. getting to know each other more in-depth) in the hopes of transitioning towards a relationship and potentially both moving to the same location? I just kinda don’t want to be too intense and scare him away (given his Aquarius nature).

    1. Hi Cat!

      Without being intense, get to know him over time. Go with the flow of conversation when you can talk to each other. Ask him questions about who he is and what he wants in life. Keep the talking and flirting going. Tell him you’re looking for the right guy but you’re also willing to wait instead of rushing in. Ask him how he feels about relationships so you can figure out what he’s looking for. From there you can plan what happens next. You can also read my book for more helpful hints.

  16. I find the hardest thing is to guess What he wants! 10 months ago I started dating an aquarius man from work. He was still living with his ex and their two kids since covid happened at the same time as they put their house on the market. Then last week he came and ended things with me, since his ex told him she wanted to give their relationship one more try, and after a month of thinking back and forward he’d come to the conclusion that he had to give ut another try even though it was really hard to leave me and that he wouldn’t Have choosen her if it wasn’t for the kids. Since then he keeps checking in on if I’m ok, if I need help with something at work and we’ve been texting, discussing deep things like living by your head or heart… I don’t understand what he wants. Since we broke up our conversations aren’t flirty as before, but sooo much deeper.. What should I expect from this?!

    1. Hi Märtha Larsson!

      Given that he’s chosen to give it another try with her tells you that you are his plan B. He probably always wanted her to come back and try. He no doubt cares very much for you but feels that she’s the one he wants otherwise he would have stayed with you. He wants to stay tuned in to you to make sure you are there when or if things don’t work out with her. Unless you want to wait around in hopes he will leave her and be with you then that’s something you should do. If you aren’t the type to wait around then go ahead and move on. If he figures out you’re the one, he will definitely chase you down. If you would like to know more about how an Aquarius man operates, check out my books “Aquarius Man Secrets”.

  17. Hi Anna,

    My situation is a bit complicated but I have some hope if misguided. I’m a gemini if it helps.

    He came into my life last year prior to the pandemic by sliding into my dms.

    We would talk often and voice call and speak essentially every day with him trying to get to know me.
    He was very forward with wanting to make plans at the time but they kept falling off due to unforeseen circumstances.I became a bit insecure and wanted to be forward with my intentions so i confessed early on i wanted this to become something but he said he just wanted to be friends first and so I distanced myself.

    We’ve now been in this back and forth for the last year where after I distanced myself he will come back saying he wants to get to know me and respects me a lot and sees me as someone in his life, and that he just isn’t seeking a relationship currently but believes friendship is the foundation for a potential future relationship. I’m fine with being friends but anytime we arranged to hang out there would be something on his end that would postpone it and twice I stopped talking to him because of it and deleted him off any social media.

    We didn’t talk for two months this most recent occasion until in March when I saw him stalking my socials constantly, he even followed then unfollowed me so I followed him back and since then we have once again been speaking every single day for hours, and its important to note that he told me early on he hates texting but he will put hours of his day to talk to me and will even send voice notes. He teases me a lot and asks all sorts of questions and told me he respects me a lot and acknowledges how sweet and attractive men in general find me.

    He has even started calling me adorable and loveable or cute… Currently we are in a situation where nobody can see people due to covid but is it bad for me to be hoping that this may mean he is interested in me? I think i came on too strong early on but it must mean something if he keeps coming back and wants to talk to me every day and know my thoughts, goals in life and just anything random. Online he is affectionate as a friend and I know he sees me as a good friend at minimum and he’s even introduced me to his closest friends who I’ve also got a friendly relationship with now. I just don’t know if this means he has any feelings for me..

    1. Hi Sam!

      It’s possible he’s been growing and changing his mind about a relationship. Then again maybe he hasn’t and just really enjoys talking to you regardless of no relationship. It’s great that he’s affectionate online or talking to you during his work day but don’t assume anything sweetheart or you could get hurt. Take it slow, leave it at friendship until he tells you flat out he wants more. Whether or not he has feelings for you, he will not likely be able to determine that until you two are able to see each other after this Covid thing. Check out more information on Aquarius through my Aquarius Man Secrets books as it could help guide you further!

  18. Omg.. Taurus woman can’t handle the distance. He asked for time but it feels like molasses. I fell hard but is it possible you just can’t match?

    1. Hi Toni!

      Yes, I understand completely how you feel. Taurus needs someone patient but they aren’t good with having patience themselves. It’s a catch 22. Aquarius does take as much time as they feel they need and they are NOT on anyone else’s time table. Yes you can totally fall for someone who is the wrong one. It happens all the time. Search your heart and inner spirit and see if he’s really worth the hassle. That’s up for you to figure out. I wish you all the luck of the stars!

  19. I have been dating my Aquarius man for 3 weeks and things moved pretty quickly. He is very affectionate when we’re together and even sweet via texts and phonecalls but recently, in the last day, his texts are very short and blunt and there is no plan to see each other for another week. Up until not we had been spending every other evening on average together and it does seem out of the blue that he has become colder and unresponsive.

    1. Hi Michele!

      Oh my 3 weeks is a very short time. He’s becoming short and blunt because the magic of the newness is now fading. Aquarius needs personal space and when they go at it heavy, they realize that it’s too much for them so they slow back down. I wouldn’t give up hope. He has to adjust and it’s not an easy process. If you truly care, be patient and let him tell you what happened. If he doesn’t then ask him why the change. He’ll tell you.

  20. So i met this aquarius guy 6 years back. Well that time i was in love with someone else when he first met me. He got my contact and we started chatting and soon he confessed to me. I didnt take him seriously coz i thought that he might be playing with my feelings at that time. But he said that he will prove to me and he waited for like 6months. One day we kinda argued coz he was upset that i thinks he was playing with me and i got fed up and i told him to block me, i did not expect him to do so but he blocked me on whatsapp and instagram. I was upset and i texted him at fb and at that time i told him i had feelings for him and i also said ” lets just be friends ” because i felt that the way he talks/chat with me just different compared to the first few months. I thought to myself that maybe he had already lost feelings for me so thats why i said that. Soon we just stopped talking and he dated this girl. I was really upset and i know its my own fault and ive regretted not just saying that we should be together. He and his gf lasted for like a year or so, and we never talked ever since. But I heard from my friends that something happened and he took a break from social media for like awhile. Last month when when i was scrolling through instagram i noticed that he unblocked me. I was happy, so i followed him and asked how is he and all. Then I just asked whether is he using the same contact, i still have his contact just wanna confirm whether am i still blocked haha. So i messaged him on whatsapp and we texted awhile. He takes very long to reply me though, like he would reply me in few hours or so. I asked if we could play game together and i asked if he wants to use mic, but he said that it will make his game lag or so. Then I asked if he wants to call but he said it will makes it worst. But he ended up saying we could try mic if i want. It was a long time since we talked though but everything went okay that day. Few days later he asked if i want to play but he fell asleep, like i really dont know why would he asked if i want to play and then kinda ditched me later on? It happened twice, one time he fell asleep, the other time he played with his friends and left me waiting. But i didnt say anything i just kept it to myself. I wont really text him unless if i want to play games with him, dont want him to feel that im the clingy type haha. So then i asked if he wanna on mic again, but he just replied “im going to rank with my friends, maybe we can play later “. Im just like sure, and ive never texted him asking him to play since. One day he texted me asking if im free to play rank with his friends, coz he said that they are lacking of one. I was really excited because they could recruit players in the game to play with them but he asked me instead. He used mic when playing with his friends and doesnt seemed that it makes him lag though. But i didnt really bother anymore anyways. As the days past when he saw me online or playing he would text and asked if i wanna join. And yeah basically our convos are just mostly talking about the game. There was one time he praised me and said i did really well in the game, and he sent me the hug emoji twice. I was really happy. But still sometimes, he would reply in like hours or so. I mean im not expecting for him to reply really fast and i didnt keep spamming or messaging him constantly. But im not sure if i should keep the conversation going. I really want to talk about more topics with him but it seems that he would reply really late, but so far now our conversations are like never ending like he would reply the next day or so. I am not sure if he is doing this because he may know that im falling for him again? Or maybe because of what ive said in the past? Plus its been like 5 years since we last met. I really wanna ask him out but im not sure. We never really open up and talk about deep life topics yet, just casual game chats. What should i do?

    1. Hi Caroline!

      If I were you I would ask him point blank what he’s thinking in regards to the two of you. You need to know where you stand. Don’t drive yourself crazy not knowing sweetheart. Be very direct and get answers! You deserve the best and I definitely wish it for you. Aquarius isn’t always forthcoming. If you ask, you will get what you need.

  21. My Aquarius recently reached out to me and apologized for not texting me for a few months. We have been talking and he has been suggesting of hanging out if I want. So I suggested we go see a movie and told him the times and gave him 2 days to pick and he said he has to check his schedule and he’ll talk to me tomorrow but that was 3 days ago. He also offered to pick me up. Do you think he will reply back?

    1. Hi Steph!

      He didn’t text you for months? That’s not a good thing even if he did apologize. He ghosted you basically. I would say that if you do actually decide to give him your time that you’re very careful. Don’t give him the opportunity to steal your heart and ghost you again. Make him work for it. Putting you off is yet another red flag though. He can’t be trusted if he can’t stand by his words. It’s up to you if you want to keep accepting this nonsense otherwise you should drop him like it’s hot and move on. Someone else will give you far more respect.

  22. I met an Aquarius guy and everything was going great until I shared something’s with him about me he seems like he has changed his mind about me but he still went a little bit further with me so now he says that he wants to be friends first but I’m very confused with what’s going on cause one time it seems like he wants to be with me and the next time he seems like he doesn’t.

    1. Hi Vna!

      There may have been something he discovered about you that he didn’t like. It changed his way of thinking of you. I know that really stinks but it does happen. Some people cannot get over someone’s past even though it’s gone. I don’t know what you shared but it may have something that triggered negative thoughts in him. These thoughts are going back and forth in his mind making him hot and cold. I’d ask him why he’s acting weird. Aquarius tells the truth if you ask them flat out. Find out so that you can figure out what you will do next. I wish you all the best!

  23. I’ve been with my aquarius man for almost two years now. It was a whirlwind romance, he was so expressive, loving, sweet and we have our own language. We would lock ourselves from the world and just be happy with just us, doing things together, being silly talking about the world and how to change it. Then after a few months, he goes cold,, says he needs time, he’s going through something in life, I understand and give him his space. But also in this time, we’re in contact with each other, not as sweet but, very much involved in each other’s lives. Then after that “break”, we go back to what we were before. It’s hot and cold, hot and cold. I understand his need for space, the first time i was hurt of course, but I realise that he does not do it from a place of malice, but just cocoons. Quite recently we’re back in cold, feels like Siberia cold. No more hugs, no more sweet things. Tells me that he’ll explain all when he’s ready. If I want to leave him he said I could, just asked me to not delete him in my life. While in this cold spell too, we’re still talking, he asks me my advice on things, asks me first before he decides on things to do. Trusts me with all his secrets but yeah we’re best friends? I dont think he’s interested in dating anyone, neither am I, i care for him a lot. Oh and another thing, while talking about this with him, he tells me that I would leave him cause he treats me like this, at that instant, i felt like looking at a wounded child. He expected me to go.

    1. Hi Lea,
      Your Aquarius man loves his freedom – he wants his space and autonomy. He does what he wants when he wants to. Being seen as an individual is high on his priorities.
      Be patient. Communication that is open and honest is essential in any relationship, and this one is no exception.Uranus brings sudden changes and anxiety, and as a result, he may withdraw.It is important to give him the space he needs so he can sort out his feelings rationally since he will be thinking and planning ahead of time and it can be overwhelming for him.
      Do not frequently text him. The more you text Aquarius men about where they are and what they are up to, the more they may feel the pressure, which isn’t good. It will take him time to recharge and be his old self. Give him space to do so. Sending Love…

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *