Is Your Aquarius Man Pulling Away? Here’s What To Do

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
Is your Aquarius man pulling away? One minute he's all in and the next, he is gone. Figure it out and never wonder what you did wrong again.

You’re just starting to feel close and connected when your Aquarius man suddenly pulls away and becomes either physically or emotionally unavailable. Is your Aquarius man pulling away, and you don’t know what to do?

Aquarius men are not the easiest to understand, they are known for being a more difficult sign that pulls away when in love. They might even act more like a friend towards you, than a lover. Confusing, right?

You don’t want to assume your Aquarius man has lost interest in you. But, once you know why your Aquarius man has been pulling away, it becomes much easier to have a strategy to win him back.

So, what to do when an Aquarius man pulls back? It is tough – you have to walk a fine line here, as he will find any whiff of desperation to be “uncool.” Yet, at the same time, you do need to let him know how you feel, as he’s unlikely to take charge.

Also, it really helps to know, in my experience as a relationship astrologer, why your Aquarius man is pulling away. Is it him, or is it you? It’s hard to find perspective sometimes and it’s easy to take things personally…

Here are the top five reasons why an Aquarius man pulls away and what you can do about it.

Why Do Aquarius Men Run Away From Love? 5 Reasons

1. He Feels Suffocated

One of the top reasons why an Aquarius man pulls away is because he feels suffocated. Maybe you’re not even suffocating him – he just is the type who needs a crazy amount of freedom and independence.

Perhaps he has other demands being made on him, demands you’re not aware of. Maybe he has people pressuring him at work. And this could make an Aquarius man feel claustrophobic and pull away.

However, if you have been asking him for a lot of his time and energy, then it’s possible that it’s you (and that’s never easy to admit). There’s nothing wrong with being an affectionate person! It’s just a bit too much for this detached sign.

So, what can you do about it?

The answer is obvious: give him loads of space and freedom. Because if you don’t, you will push your Aquarius man further away. The more suffocated he feels, the more he’s going to pull away. The more you ask of him, the farther he will run.

If an Aquarius man is pulling away, it’s important to respect his air sign nature and let him have a little time to be free. Just like an eagle needs to fly, an Aquarius needs wide open spaces too.

2. He Sees You More As A Friend

Friendship is more important to an Aquarius than romance. That is a golden rule to remember about any Aquarius guy. He’s more interested in whether you can hang out as buddies than if you have crazy physical chemistry.

Perhaps your Aquarius man has friend-zoned you, which looks like pulling away in love. Maybe he’s not even aware that you feel a certain way for him. Truthfully, maybe he thinks you’re better as friends or doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.

This is definitely not an impossible hurdle to get through, so here’s how to pull him back:

Maybe he’s just blissfully unaware of the potential that lies between the two of you. Go ahead and wake him up. Arrange a coffee date, a catch-up, or better yet, a party. Dress to the nines, brush on some smokey eyes, and flirt with him.

RelatedHow Does An Aquarius Man Like A Woman To Dress?

3. He Doesn’t Know How To Cope With Strong Feelings

Being an air Zodiac sign, Aquarius men just don’t always know how to do big feelings. They may get extremely uncomfortable with emotions, and that could be a reason they pull away. They need some time to figure their feelings out.

An Aquarius man may even be unaware that he’s falling for you, unconsciously pulling away. This is the most frustrating because you have to have excellent intuition! And lots and lots of patience, too. He’s one of those guys who goes cold and distant in his relationships; it is just in his nature to be like that.

Here’s more on how to deal with an Aquarius man that is distancing himself.

Aquarius is ruled by Uranus and co-ruled by Saturn, and although this is a great combination for overturning anarchies, it’s not the warmest or fuzziest combination of planets. Needless to say, they’re not going to respond with much sympathy to kicking, screaming, or tears.

So, what can you do about it?

First of all, never make your Aquarius talk about his feelings right away. Instead, give him some time and space, and keep all conversational light and breezy. Don’t forget to flirt (lightly), because the last thing you want is for him to friendzone you.

When he feels comfortable, he’ll find his way back to you. There is no force that will keep your Aquarius man from you, once he knows how he feels about you.

4. He’s Bored

Yup, maybe he’s bored. Aquarius is a sign that needs quite a massive amount of excitement in their lives, and plenty of stimulation. He also tends to go for partners that are somewhat unusual and a bit weird. He loves the unconventional!

Maybe you’ve gotten stuck in a dating rut, or perhaps you’ve allowed things to become slightly “vanilla.” Too many Friday nights in will do that to him and have him withdrawing to figure out what he wants.

The fix of this is obvious: make things exciting again. This means inviting adventure into your relationship, trying new things, and being experimental.

Don’t go to the same restaurant – go and watch a band! Take a roundtrip, dye your hair pink, and go traveling. Hit that refresh button and he’ll come running right back!

5. He’s Unsure Of You

It may hurt to hear this, but maybe he’s just unsure of you and whether he wants this relationship. It’s a common thing – we’ve all been here before. We’ve all doubted someone and needed some time on our own to figure out what we want.

Maybe something happened, such as an ex appearing back in your life, or his. Maybe he’s got an opportunity to travel. There are other things that can be going on that make him feel uncertain.

This is a tough one to control, but here’s what you could do to pull him back:

Be yourself, be independent, enjoy your life, and enjoy your friends. Be sure of how wonderful you are, remind yourself daily. Tell yourself you are a catch, that you deserve the best.

Because, once you believe this, you’ll find it’s effortless to attract any guy. Even him. And if he doesn’t come back, that really is his loss. You go, girl!

You may be reading these tips and thinking, well, am I supposed to just do nothing about him taking space away from me? Absolutely not! Dealing with the Aquarius man just takes a little finesse since they’re so enigmatic.

The best thing that you can do is to take some time to yourself to really outline how his distance is affecting you. Stick to the facts here. Don’t use blaming language since this will cause him to draw farther away.

Instead, consider statements like “I know you’re one way, but I am more emotional and so when you’re distant I feel lonely.” Notice that this doesn’t demonize your Aquarius man for being distant, it just points out a consequence that the distance has on you.

5 Things NOT To Do When An Aquarius Pulls Away

1. DON’T Chase Him

Despite commonly being mistaken for a water Zodiac sign, Aquarius is actually an air sign. This means that they do not desire the cloying depths of emotion. Rather, they want something with more openness and ease. 

If an Aquarius man is pulling away, it’s important to respect his air sign nature and let him have a little time to be free. Just like an eagle needs to fly, an Aquarius needs wide open spaces too. 

Chasing an Aquarius man will only remind him of perceived restrictions in his life, and you DO NOT want his mind going there right now. 

So, reminding him that you’re right around the corner chomping at the bit for him to come back down to the ground will have him running the other way, no doubt. 

Instead, let him go for a while. An Aquarius will deeply respect your emotional maturity and letting him do him for a while. If he senses no imprisonment to run from, then he will stop running.

2. DON’T Become Too Emotional

Aquarians do respect the emotions of others, but they have a hard time grasping them. Being associated with technological advances, this sign is sometimes known for being a touch robotic in how they approach emotion. 

If their absence and perceived lack of interest in you are stressing you out, then I understand how it could be hard to not let them know how their distance is hurting you. And you can tell them that, but they won’t respect immature emotional responses to their distance.

They’ll be a lot more likely to empathize with your plight if you lay it out in plain English, using language that isn’t blaming them for your reaction to them. 

I highly recommend utilizing the “When you do x it makes me feel y” approach with the Aquarius. He’ll certainly grasp the semi-detached language. In addition, Aquarians are scientific by nature. They understand correlation and cause and effect, so this could be your winning approach. 

3. DON’T Restrict Him From His Friends

An Aquarius being ruled by Uranus indicates that they are heavily involved in community and groups of people. This is a recipe for someone who makes friends readily and easily. 

This is all well and good, but seeing your Aquarius guy distancing himself from you but still confiding in his bros and besties is going to be hard to watch for most people… it may have you asking: “Why can’t that be me?”

Despite this natural reaction, it is important to respect his need for his buddies at this time. It’s important for him to process his feelings through others. If he’s having doubts about your relationship, then he is likely seeking counsel from his friends and getting a little distance. 

This is actually not the worst thing for an Aquarius. He doesn’t process emotion well alone, and his friends are a semi-neutral third party that can assist him in finding out what he really feels. 

With any luck, he’ll be coming back to you with a clear head courtesy of his vent sesh with his friends. They’ll likely understand that he’s detached by nature and they may encourage him to open up to you more than before… the friends are a gift for you and for him!

4. If Your Aquarius Man Is Pulling Away, DO NOT Ignore It

You may be reading these tips and thinking, well, am I supposed to just do nothing about him taking space away from me? Absolutely not! Dealing with the Aquarius man pulling away just takes a little finesse since they’re so enigmatic. 

The best thing that you can do is to take some time to yourself to really outline how his distance is affecting you. Stick to the facts here. Don’t use blaming language since this will cause him to draw farther away. 

Instead, consider statements like “I know you’re one way, but I am more emotional and so when you’re distant I feel lonely.” Notice that this doesn’t demonize him for being distant, it just points out a consequence that the distance has on you. 

Aquarius will respect this phrasing and will comprehend it in a better way than “Stop being like that and come home now!” Demands and ultimatums make his choice to flee make even more sense in his mind!

Read next: 4 Reasons Why An Aquarius Man Never Initiates Contact

5. Don’t Paint Him As The Enemy

Aquarians are likely the most naturally friendly sign of the Zodiac, perhaps tied with Libra and Gemini. He desires to be on good terms with people if he can help it. 

An Aquarius is social and his planet Uranus rules friendships. He wants very much to have the light and breezy rapport of friends with you! 

When you run at him blaming him and belittling him for his choices, deserved or not, he shuts right down and won’t have much to say except “I’m going to go hang out with my friends who like me now.”

My advice is to remind him that you’re both on the same team… you both want this relationship to work.

Part of how he has to cope with emotional intimacy (decidedly not his comfort zone) is to make sure he gets some time to re-establish his independence and freedom. An Aquarius man taking time away from you could be a sign that he is just trying to reconnect with himself.

So, What To Do When An Aquarius Man Pulls Back? My Final Thoughts

You’ve definitely not made it easy on yourself by falling for an Aquarius man. These guys are so complicated and difficult to understand. They certainly like playing hot and cold, don’t they?

When an Aquarius man pulls back, you need to just let him go for a bit. The last thing you want to do with an Aquarius man is to chase him because that is just going to make him run away.

You need to understand that it is completely normal for an Aquarius man to pull away when things get heated in his relationship. This is because he is so independent and freedom-loving and a relationship threatens his very existence.

All you can do with an Aquarius man is to let him be, show him that you are fun and exciting, but that you are also a woman who is understanding and isn’t going to stifle him or take his freedom away from him.

The best thing you can do is to focus on your own goals and aspirations and create a life for yourself that makes you exciting and interesting. But most importantly, be yourself! An Aquarius man loves authenticity. So give it to him!

I guarantee you that an Aquarius man will always come back, especially if you don’t chase him…

Is Your Aquarius Man Distant After Intimacy?

Does your Aquarius man pull away or get quiet when you’ve just had a deep emotional connection?

Does he seem to disappear just when you thought he was getting closer?

Have you felt confused by his hot and cold behavior?

If so, then he might have an avoidant attachment style.

He could be Dismissive Avoidant and completely terrified of commitment…

Or he could be Fearful Avoidant and REALLY want commitment…

But get scared when he feels himself getting closer to you.

If he has either one of these attachment styles, you’re going to end up feeling extremely confused at times.

Aquarius men can go to the extremes of shutting down when they start to care about you.

They may also become obsessed and possessive, only to sabotage the relationship when you are just getting serious.

They can even start lashing out in anger that comes from out of nowhere.

An Aquarius man with these types of attachment styles can idolize you one minute and express rage toward you the next moment.

And both are caused by childhood trauma.

When you can see the scared little boy inside him that had to shut down his feelings if he’s dismissive avoidant…

Or have a parent not provide his needs consistently if he’s fearful avoidant…

It can make it easier to have empathy and compassion for his confusing and frustrating behavior.

But that won’t fix it…

And while advice on attachment styles can be helpful…

What you really need to stop this frustrating hot and cold cycle is to understand him better.

Thankfully, there is a simple system to TRULY understand how an Aquarius man ticks based on his astrology.

It will stop your Aquarius man from pulling away when you begin feeling closer…

And it will accomplish this in only 30 days.

So no more crying yourself to sleep when he pulls back.

No more feeling incredibly confused…

And no more wondering what in the heck is going on with him…

Even if he has an avoidant attachment style.

Click here to turn things around with your Aquarius man in 30 days or less.

Sending you love,

Your sister and relationship astrologer,

Anna Kovach

About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

2 thoughts on “Is Your Aquarius Man Pulling Away? Here’s What To Do

  1. I wouldn’t say we like being hot and cold, but we certainly do run this way. For me, it is frustrating and comes from frustration with the woman in my life.

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