I don’t want this to be a “beat up an Aquarius article,” but there are things you probably need to know if you’re going to date an Aquarius man or you have been and aren’t sure how to deal with him.
What could possibly be the worst part about dating an Aquarius man? Let me explain a bit more. Keep reading so you can learn what might be a deal breaker for you if you cannot tolerate it.
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In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have worked with thousands of women loving an Aquarius man, and this one frustration comes up more than almost any other. In a survey of more than 2,600 women dating an Aquarius man, nearly a quarter described their situation as “it is complicated,” and 24 percent said the connection felt like it was quietly fading without him ever explaining why. If that sounds like your story, you are not imagining things, and you are far from alone.
The good news is that once you understand why Uranus, his ruling planet, makes him behave this way, his hardest habit stops feeling like a personal rejection and starts looking like a pattern you can actually work with. If you want the full roadmap to his mind, my complete Aquarius Man Secrets guide breaks down exactly how he thinks, loves, and commits.
The Aquarius Man’s Flaws
Aquarius men can be very generous, loving, and loyal. However, they can also have a shady side that makes it hard for people to understand them or get along with them. Women in particular find him hard to “get.”
Here are some things that are noted as “flaws” in Aquarius men. Not all Aquarius guys are exactly the same, but they will likely have some or all of these traits:
- He wants an excessive amount of freedom for himself, even when he’s in a relationship. Not all of them are this way, but a large portion of them are.
- He’s very set in his ways and doesn’t like to change his mind. It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely hard to get him to see anything else.
- You never know what he’s going to do next. He’s not a guy that you can predict as far as what he will do from one day to the next.
- He’s very picky about who he will commit to. He isn’t picky in terms of what a woman looks like, but rather who she is and if she fits his idea of what he wants.
- He doesn’t always communicate when he should. He waits to be asked questions and if he’s not asked, he just doesn’t say anything. This sometimes gets perceived as lying or omitting the truth.
- It’s his way or the highway. He can compromise if he’s really in love and if his woman can talk to him in a way that he perceives as non-threatening. Otherwise, he wants it his way or you can go.
The Aquarius Man Traits That Made You Fall for Him in the First Place
As I mentioned, I don’t want to turn this into an Aquarius bashing post. There are definitely redeeming qualities with the man otherwise you wouldn’t be here looking up information about him.
You are either in love with him or have a crush. Either way, just as you need to know the worst, it’s good to remember why you developed feelings for him in the first place.
- When he finally does commit, he’s very generous and loving.
- He devotes himself when he’s ready.
- He will open up to you if you ask.
- He will tell you the truth if you ask.
- He’s passionate and sensual with the woman he desires.
- He’ll always be there for you once he commits.
He has other redeemable qualities that you know about already, because you are the one that has feelings for him. Now, I don’t know what you feel is a deal breaker in your relationship. That’s for you to decide.
What exactly would be the WORST trait of Aquarius men? Just by all the emails I get from women who date Aquarius men, there is something I should share with you because it shouldn’t be kept a secret.
The Worst Part About Dating Aquarius Men
Alright, so from all my years of helping women, they all seem to have one complaint that stands out. Aquarius man really sucks at communicating what he wants or feels.
I’ve had so many women write me, out of serious confusion about the Aquarius guy they like or are in love with. They don’t know where they stand with this guy and he’s not giving them any indication.
Even when they do try to ask, the Aquarius man may try to side step and not give a clear answer. Now, yes, they are able to give an answer if you ask. However, sometimes the answer isn’t exactly palatable.
He will say that he’s not ready for a relationship or that he isn’t ready to progress forward. He will then go months without any indication of whether or not this has changed.
Women write into me so frustrated that they either want to cry or their blood is boiling. Until an Aquarius man actually states his commitment, you should never take anything seriously.
What I mean by this, is you should never assume anything. Don’t assume that things are exclusive with you two. Don’t assume you’re the only one he’s interested in. Also, don’t assume that he’s in love with you.
Aquarius men have a way of romancing you without actually being in love with you. He’s having a good time and sees it as nothing more. This is where women just fall to pieces.
I don’t think he is purposefully trying to hurt anyone, but he also doesn’t seem to see that what he’s doing is like a huge mind game for any woman. This is when they reach out to me for help.
What Can You Do To Get Through To Him?
If you’re not sure where things stand with him and you’re just as frustrated as all the women that write in to me, there is something you can do. You’re not helpless but you’ve got to be dedicated to your cause.
This isn’t an easy process for most women. If you’ve been seeing him for a long while and still see no commitment in clear sight, you’ve got to get control of this. He cannot be allowed to continue with the cloudy behavior.
What needs to happen is that you need to ask him flat out what is going on. Ask him what it is he sees you two as, if there is exclusivity or if there is even a plan for that. Tell him you want to set goals and need to know if he wants it too.
You can tell him you’d like to have a relationship but you want to know how he feels about it. This is where it’s difficult ladies. You have no guarantee he’s going to say yes.
This will be scary because even though you are frustrated, you’re scared of losing him. If you don’t do something, you’ll stay in this limbo and things will never change.
If you don’t take the step to make something happen, he won’t do it either and then you’ll forever be stuck in this until either you move on or he does. This isn’t what you deserve.
So you’re going to have to pick it up and ask. In the event he says that he’s not ready and doesn’t know if or when he will be, then you’re going to have to back off from him.
He needs to have some time to himself and time to miss you. If he truly does have deep feelings for you, he will realize this when you’re not reaching out like you were. He’ll miss you.
His feelings will come to the surface and he will contact you and want to give you more. If he doesn’t then it means he never had that intention with you or didn’t see a connection but didn’t tell you.
This is the only way you can truly get him to move forward with you or so that you can move forward without him depending on what the case it with each individual Aquarius man.
Read next: How To Become A Priority For Your Aquarius Man
Read next: How Do You Get an Aquarius Man to Commit? and What It Really Means When Your Aquarius Man Sends Mixed Signals.
Why an Aquarius Man Struggles to Say What He Feels
To understand the worst part about dating an Aquarius man, you have to understand his element. Aquarius is an air sign, which means he lives in the world of ideas, concepts, and logic long before he lets himself drop into feeling. Where a water sign feels first and explains later, your Aquarius man does the opposite. He analyzes a feeling from every angle before he trusts it enough to name it out loud, and that process can take him weeks or months.
Uranus, his ruling planet, adds another layer. It is the planet of independence, sudden change, and rebellion against anything that feels like pressure. So the moment he senses that you need a certain answer from him, some quiet part of him digs in and goes even more silent. It is not that he does not care. It is that being cornered triggers his deepest fear, which is losing his freedom to think for himself.
In our survey, 44 percent of women said their Aquarius man moves painfully slowly toward commitment, and 28 percent said they constantly got mixed signals from him. Once you see that his slowness is a nervous system reaction, not a verdict on you, you can stop taking his silence as an answer and start reading it as the pause it really is.
The 3 Mistakes That Make an Aquarius Man Pull Even Further Away
When a woman is desperate for clarity from her Aquarius man, she almost always reaches for one of three moves, and all three backfire with this particular sign. The first is sending long, emotional messages that spell out everything she feels and demand a reply. To an air sign who processes through logic, a wall of feelings reads as overwhelming, and his instinct is to retreat until the intensity passes.
The second mistake is trying to make him jealous or matching his distance with games of your own. Aquarius men are unusually secure and famously detached, so a jealousy play rarely rattles him the way it would rattle a Scorpio or a Leo. More often it just confirms his suspicion that a relationship with you would be full of drama, which is the one thing he is built to avoid.
The third mistake is asking his friends what he really thinks or trying to decode him through other people. Nothing violates his sense of privacy faster. If you want to reach an Aquarius man, you have to go straight to him, calm and direct, and give him room to answer in his own time. The women who get real answers are the ones who ask once, clearly, and then step back instead of chasing.
How Long Should You Wait for an Aquarius Man to Commit?
This is the question I get more than any other about Aquarius men, and the honest answer is that there is no universal timeline, but there are signals that tell you whether you are waiting on something real or waiting on nothing. An Aquarius man who is slowly falling for you will still show it in small, consistent ways. He introduces you to the parts of his life he protects. He starts sharing his ideas and his projects. He makes plans that reach a few weeks out instead of only tonight.
An Aquarius man who is simply enjoying your company with no intention of more tends to keep everything in the present tense. He is warm when you are together and then vanishes for days. He never quite lets you into his inner circle. In our survey, 35 percent of women said their relationship had made no real progress at all, and this is usually the group waiting on a man who has already quietly decided.
My rule of thumb is this. If you have asked him directly where things stand and given him a reasonable window, a month or two of continued warmth and small steps forward is worth honoring. But if months pass with the same fog and no forward motion, the timeline has already given you your answer, even if he never will.
The One Sign an Aquarius Man Is Finally Ready to Let You In
For all his detachment, there is a moment when an Aquarius man crosses a line inside himself and decides you are the one he wants to open up to, and it looks different than you might expect. He does not usually announce it with a grand declaration. Instead, he starts telling you things he does not tell other people. His strange theories, his private worries, the vision he has for his future. For an air sign, sharing his mind is the most intimate thing he can do, more intimate than anything physical.
You will also notice he stops disappearing after you get close. Early on, an Aquarius man will often pull back right after a wonderful night together, almost as if closeness startles him. When he is truly ready, that retreat gets shorter and then stops. He comes back on his own, without you having to reach for him.
If you see these shifts, the waiting was not wasted. If you do not see them after giving him honest time and space, you now have the clarity to choose yourself. Either way, you stop guessing, and for a woman who has been stuck in Aquarius fog, that clarity is everything.
Frequently Asked Questions About Dating an Aquarius Man
Why does my Aquarius man go quiet for days after we get close?
This is one of the most confusing Aquarius patterns, and it is rooted in his need for independence. When an Aquarius man feels a strong connection, part of him worries that he is losing his autonomy, so he retreats to reassure himself that he is still free. The silence is about him, not about you.
The worst thing you can do is flood him with messages during this pause. Give him a few days of calm space and let him come back on his own, which he almost always does once he feels safe again. If he consistently returns warmer than before, the retreat is just his rhythm. If he returns colder each time, that is a different and more telling pattern.
Understanding his air sign wiring lets you ride out these pauses without spiraling every single time.
Does an Aquarius man come back if you give him space?
Very often, yes. Space is the single most powerful thing you can offer an Aquarius man, because it removes the pressure that makes him bolt and gives him room to actually miss you. When you stop reaching out and let him feel the absence, his real feelings tend to surface in a way they never do when he feels chased.
The key is that your space has to be real, not a manipulation tactic he can sense. Live your life, invest in yourself, and let him notice the gap on his own terms. If he has true feelings, the quiet will pull him back. If he does not reach out at all, you have your answer without having to beg for it.
If you want the exact words that reopen the door with an Aquarius man once he has gone distant, my Aquarius Magic Phrases guide gives you messages written specifically for his Uranus-ruled mind.
How do you know if an Aquarius man is serious about you?
An Aquarius man shows he is serious through consistency and inclusion rather than through romantic words. He brings you into his world, introduces you to the friends he trusts, and starts making plans that assume you will be around. He also becomes more open about his inner thoughts, which for him is the deepest sign of trust.
Watch what he does far more than what he says. An Aquarius man who is serious will protect your time together and show up reliably, even if he never becomes a gushing romantic. If his actions stay consistent over weeks and months, believe them.
If his words say one thing but he keeps vanishing and keeping you at a distance, the inconsistency itself is the truth.
Should I confront my Aquarius man about where we stand?
Yes, but the way you do it matters enormously with this sign. Do not frame it as an emotional confrontation or an ultimatum, because pressure makes an Aquarius man shut down. Instead, bring it up calmly and directly, almost like you are simply gathering information rather than demanding a commitment.
Tell him you enjoy what you have and you would like to understand how he sees it. Give him permission to be honest, even if his honesty is not what you hope for. An Aquarius man respects a woman who can handle a direct conversation without falling apart, and he is far more likely to open up when he does not feel trapped.
Then, whatever he says, believe him and act accordingly. His answer, or his avoidance of one, tells you everything about your next step.
Can an Aquarius man be faithful in a relationship?
Absolutely. Despite his need for freedom, a committed Aquarius man is often one of the most loyal partners of the zodiac. His loyalty is a choice he makes with his mind, and once he decides you are his person, he tends to stay devoted without much drama or temptation.
The catch is that he has to reach that decision on his own, in his own time. Before he commits, he may keep his options open and see the arrangement as casual even when you feel more. After he commits, that same detachment becomes a steady, drama-free devotion that many women find deeply reassuring.
The whole challenge, and the whole worst part, is getting him to cross that line from open to all-in.
How to Make It Work With an Aquarius Man Without Losing Yourself
You can absolutely make it work with an Aquarius man, but you’ve got to know how to handle him. I have had some ladies write me who figure out a formula for them personally that seemed to work.
It’s all a matter of taking control and doing what you know you have to do even if it is hard. He’s not the easiest guy but if he does really care for you, he will figure things out even if you have to get it moving.
Backing off with your texting and calling will ensure time without you that he’ll have to think about. He’ll miss you if he really cares. If he doesn’t miss you then he won’t care and he won’t bother to reach out to you.
That is how you truly can see where his head is at. Yes, it’s a risk, but what would you rather do? Stay in a cycle that just may never end? No of course you don’t! Take control, girl!
Alright, here’s a juicy tidbit for you, delicious actor and singer Harry Styles is an Aquarius man. You can see his very unique style that sets him apart. That’s how Aquarius is. They love women who are also unique.
Are you a woman that figured out a formula to make it work with a frustrating Aquarius man? Tell me your story. I’d love to hear it!
Share your story (or situation) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).
And before you confront your Aquarius man, take my free compatibility quiz to see if the two of you are meant to be! Check it out here.
Wishing you all the luck of the universe.
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
Hi Anna,
My Aquarius guy is definitely sending me mixed signals. We’re currently on different continents and I’ve been trying to keep in touch. He recently came back from one of his off periods but during that time, he unfriended me on Facebook and told me the reason he had to stop talking to me was that he got into a relationship. Now they’re broken up and he hasn’t accepted my friend request again. I told him that I was upset at him several times and I’m not sure if it was because of that he disappeared again. He never says anything when he does and this time he also unfollowed me on Instagram, removed me as a follower, and set his page to private. This is after a few days of him apologizing and saying he’s willing to wait for me.
I would move on. Why waste your life on someone who’d rather block you from theirs.