7 Ways To Go From Friends With Benefits To An Exclusive Relationship With The Aquarius Man

Wondering how to go from being bedtime buddies to something more with your Aquarius fella? This is a particularly tricky Zodiac sign to read. Detached and cool, the Aquarius guy’s feelings are an utter mystery. This can make it all the more intimidating when it comes to moving into relationship territory. Here’s how to make it easier.

In my practice as a Relationship Astrologer, one of the most common questions I get is how to move from being friends with benefits to an exclusive relationship. Modern dating is confusing, and no one wants to put themselves in a position of vulnerability. Rejection is scary. 

Often, the male air signs – Aquarius, Gemini and even some Libras – can be the hardest to “convert,” as they are such natural flirts and can really enjoy playing the field! However, once they find the right woman, these guys can be surprisingly loyal – especially the Aquarius man. 

He may talk a big game, but the real truth is that he wants something solid just as much as you do. These are fixed signs, which makes them built for lasting commitment. It’s simply a matter of making him see that being with you is far more fun than a million empty connections. 

I want you to know how common your situation really is. In my years as a Relationship Astrologer I have worked with thousands of women who are stuck in exactly this place, and the numbers back it up. In a survey I ran of more than 2,600 women involved with Aquarius men, nearly 1 in 4 described their situation as “complicated,” and 35% said their relationship was not progressing at all. If you have been living in the friends-with-benefits stage wondering when, or whether, he will ever call you his, you are far from alone.

Here is the part that will give you hope. His slow pace is almost never a lack of feeling. It is simply how a fixed air sign ruled by unpredictable Uranus moves toward commitment. He needs to arrive at the decision himself, which is why pushing rarely works and patience so often does. If you want the complete roadmap for turning an undefined situation with an Aquarius man into a real, exclusive relationship, my Aquarius Man Secrets program walks you through his psychology step by step, so you always know what to say and do next.

Here’s how you can get things to start going your way, and have him see what’s right under his nose:

7 Ways To Go From Friends With Benefits To An Exclusive Relationship

1. Be His Best Friend

It may sound contradictory, but the best way to really get under the Aquarian man’s thick skin is to be his closest friend in the world. His bestie. His person. This isn’t romantic, at all – romance is much less important the typical Aquarius fella than friendship. 

He wants a companion. Someone to hang out with and be his confidant and partner in crime. Someone who will share adventures and ideas with him, and help him chase his dreams. Someone he feels he can open up to and talk with. 

You can be that person – start imagining yourself as his very best buddy, then act like it, and watch the magic unfold! 

2. Have Fun Together

An Aquarius loves to have fun. They are rebellious, adventure-seeking weirdos, and they love life to be full of she things that they love. They usually enjoy a good party, a social event, music, dancing, leaning new things and spending time with their “pack” of friends. 

If you want to become someone more to him than his friend with benefits, be the person he has fun with. Seek him out on a dancefloor and have a wiggle, chat him up at a social gathering, or “bump into him” at an event, with your fun hat on! 

The more fun you have, the more pleasurable experiences he has with you, the more he will begin to see you as someone who is so much, much more than just a bedroom buddy. 

3. Give Him Plenty Of Freedom

The thing is with Aquarius men, ladies, is that they, more than anyone else in the Zodiac, need a huge amount of space and freedom. Independence is their middle name, and they will totally resist anyone who tries to take that away from them. 

So, if your Aquarius lover perceives you as someone who is going to be a “ball and chain” instead of someone who they can have fun with, they will simply not be interested in going any further. 

And, if they sense that you’re going to be someone who’s going to need them around all the time, someone who doesn’t have their own lives, they will continue being your friend with benefits, but it will never be more than that. 

This is a tough one if you’re the type of woman who does need more emotional connection and together time, so be aware of what you’re signing up for! 

4. Build A Mental Connection

As an air sign, Aquarius is all about intellectual connection – they prize that more than anything else in the world. More than sexual passion, more than money, more than having the perfect job. They want a woman who is on their wavelength, a woman who they can talk to about all the things! 

One the very best things you can do to start getting your Aquarius lover to move into a space of more commitment is to simply engage him on a mental level. Discuss things like aliens, science and inventions, talk about the future (he loves living there), and what his dreams are. 

You’ll soon see what a dreamer he really is, how unique he is and hopefully, he will start seeing that you are someone who can be so much more to him. 

5. Be His Safe Place

Aquarius men find it very hard to open up, emotionally speaking. They tend to rationalize everything as a safety net to avoid real intimacy. The truth is, going from friends with benefits to something exclusive may be a challenge because of this reluctance to be vulnerable. 

So, you will need to make sure that he feels safe to open up with you. That means asking him questions and letting him talk, listening very carefully and never pushing him farther than he’s ready to go, emotionally. Once he sees you’re not going to judge him, he may come that much closer. 

This will, of course, naturally lead to making your relationship something more! 

6. Keep Things Light

Aquarius doesn’t do heavy. That means heavy emotions, or talking about the past, their trauma or their true feelings. They may do it from time to time, but in a heady, rational way rather than emotional way. 

So, try to keep things light on your side, too. Don’t yet dive into the details of their lives, and be light when sharing yours. Over time, he will become better at dealing with emotions, but in the beginning of your relationship, it will just scare him off. 

Read next: 5 Questions That Make an Aquarius Man Fall in Love

7. Let Things Develop Naturally

Rather than try and force an exclusive relationship, just let things develop organically. The chances are good that the more time he spends with you, the more he’ll like you (especially if you follow some of the tips above). 

Most men – especially the stubborn Aquarius man – need to realize for themselves that they want something to go further. If you try and direct the flow, he will dig his heels in and resist, and he will become even more detached and switched off. 

Of course, you can’t wait forever. Give it a maximum of six months or so before your feelings get hurt, and your self-respect erodes to a point where your self-esteem and confidence is damaged.  

Signs Your Aquarius Man Is Quietly Starting to See You Differently

One of the hardest things about loving an Aquarius man is that he rarely announces a change of heart out loud. He shows it in small, easy-to-miss ways instead. In my survey, 62% of women said they felt a genuine connection with their Aquarius man, and the ones who ended up in real relationships almost always noticed the shift in his behavior long before he ever said a word about it.

Watch for whether he starts folding you into his world. Early on, 38% of the women surveyed had not met a single person in his life, because a casual Aquarius keeps his lovers neatly separate from his friends. When he begins introducing you to his pack, texting you about the future instead of just the weekend, or asking your opinion on decisions that have nothing to do with the two of you, he is telling you he sees you as more than a bedtime buddy. He is letting you into the mental and social world he protects so fiercely.

The other quiet signal is emotional trust. An Aquarius man who is starting to fall will begin sharing the strange inner thoughts he usually keeps to himself, the inventions, the theories, the odd 2am ideas. When he chooses you as the person he wants to think out loud with, you have become something rare to him.

The One Mistake That Keeps You Stuck as His Friend With Benefits

If there is a single thing that keeps women trapped in the undefined stage with an Aquarius man, it is demanding the label before he feels safe enough to give it. I heard the same heartbreak over and over in the survey. “Together but not exclusive. No title.” “He calls our relationship a friendship.” “He still says he can’t tell me what he wants from me.” The instinct in these moments is to force a conversation and pin him down, and with almost any other sign that might work. With an Aquarius man it backfires.

The moment he feels cornered, his independence alarm goes off and he pulls back to protect his freedom. What actually moves an Aquarius man forward is the opposite of pressure. It is becoming so enjoyable, so easy, and so intellectually alive to be around that exclusivity starts to feel like his idea. You are not chasing the label. You are making the relationship the most interesting thing in his life, so that he reaches for the label on his own.

Over 254,331 women have already taken this free quiz to find out whether their Aquarius man is truly falling for them or just keeping things casual. Take it here and see what the stars reveal about his real feelings for you.

How Long Does It Take an Aquarius Man to Commit?

There is no single timeline with an Aquarius man, and that is exactly what makes him so maddening to wait on. In my survey, 44% of women said their relationship was progressing slowly and only 22% said things were moving quickly. That slow-and-steady rhythm is his default, not a red flag. He treats commitment like a decision that cannot be undone, so he takes his time to be sure.

That said, patience is not the same as waiting forever. Give the situation a natural window of a few months to develop, and pay attention to the direction of travel rather than the speed. If he is slowly letting you deeper into his life, the pace is fine. If months pass with no movement at all, no meeting his people, no talk of the future, no emotional opening, then he may be content to keep things exactly as they are. Knowing the difference protects both your time and your self-respect.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will an Aquarius man ever want a relationship after being friends with benefits?

Yes, and more often than you might think. The Aquarius man is a fixed sign, which means that once he commits he tends to be remarkably loyal. His hesitation almost never comes from a lack of feeling. It comes from a deep need to protect his freedom and to be certain before he changes the shape of his life.

What tips the balance is emotional and mental connection, not physical chemistry alone. If he already enjoys the bedroom side, the way to move him forward is to become his favorite person to talk to, laugh with, and share ideas with. When the friendship underneath the benefits becomes the best relationship in his life, the exclusive label usually follows.

The women in my survey who succeeded almost all described the same shift. They stopped waiting for him to define things and instead made themselves indispensable to his world, and at some point he was the one who did not want to share them or lose them.

How do you know if an Aquarius man is catching feelings?

An Aquarius man in love acts differently from an Aquarius man who is simply enjoying himself. The clearest sign is that he starts including you in his life beyond your private meetings. He introduces you to his friends, invites you into his hobbies and causes, and begins referencing you in his plans for the future.

The second sign is emotional. This is a man who rationalizes everything to avoid vulnerability, so when he starts opening up about his fears, his past, or his real dreams, he is handing you something he does not hand out easily. Consistency in his attention, even in his own unpredictable way, is a stronger tell than grand romantic gestures, which are not really his style.

What should you never do when trying to get an Aquarius man to commit?

Never issue an ultimatum, and never make him feel like his independence is under threat. Nothing shuts an Aquarius man down faster than the sense that he is being managed, guilt-tripped, or backed into a corner. He will simply detach, and detaching is something he is extremely good at.

Avoid heavy emotional confrontations in the early stage, avoid clinging to constant together-time, and avoid making him the center of your entire world. Paradoxically, the more full and independent your own life is, the more attractive and safe commitment starts to feel to him, because he can see you are choosing him rather than needing him.

Can you make an Aquarius man jealous to get him to commit?

Playing games to provoke jealousy is one of the riskiest strategies you can try with this particular sign. The Aquarius man values honesty and authenticity, and he tends to be less possessive than most men. Deliberate jealousy tactics often read to him as drama and manipulation, and his response is usually to lose respect and quietly step back rather than to fight for you.

There is a healthier version of this, though. Living a genuinely full, interesting life, with your own friends, passions, and adventures, naturally makes him aware that you are desirable and that your attention is not guaranteed. That is not a game. It is simply being a complete person, and it is far more powerful with an Aquarius man than any staged rivalry ever could be. If you want the exact words and timing that gently nudge him from casual to committed, my 30 Day Love Challenge gives you a simple daily plan built around his Uranus-ruled nature. You can also read more about what he ultimately looks for in 7 Key Things An Aquarius Man Wants In A Marriage.

So – have you successfully gone from friends with benefits to an exclusive relationship with an Aquarius man? How did you do it?  Share your tips and tricks with us in the anonymous comment box below! I’ love to know your story! 

And, if you’re wondering whether you’re really compatible with an Aquarius man, check out my free and fun compatibility quiz right here!

Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,

Anna Kovach