Dating an Aquarius man can be a tricky undertaking. These men are strange – plain and simple. It’s almost impossible for them to follow the rules, least of all when it comes to dating. They are totally unexpected and unpredictable, but I guess that is why so many women find them irresistible.
It can be rather confusing to navigate the early stages of dating an Aquarius man, because he’s so detached, aloof and is always playing it cool. But don’t worry, girl! I have your back and can give you all the tips on how to make progress with your illusive Aquarius man.
Your FREE Aquarius Man Seduction Guide!
Register below to get instant access.
So, continue reading to find out more how to transform your fledgling love into a full-blown love affair!
Before we go any further, I want you to know that you are not imagining the confusion. Over the last few years I have surveyed more than 2,600 women who are dating, chasing, or trying to understand an Aquarius man, and nearly 1 in 4 described their situation with a single word: “complicated.” Another 44% told me their relationship was progressing slowly and 35% said it was not progressing at all. Those numbers are not a sign that something is wrong with you. They are a portrait of what the early stages with a Uranus-ruled man actually feel like from the inside.
The good news is that his pace is readable once you know what you are looking at. Everything below is what I teach my clients about the first weeks and months with him, and if you want the complete roadmap, my Aquarius Man Secrets program walks you through every stage of his heart step by step.
Be Prepared To Play It Cool
An Aquarius man is nothing short of amazing. He has all these brilliant ideas and is truly a visionary in his own right. He has big plans for the future and values free thinking and innovation highly.
So, it is no wonder you find him a little intimidating at first, and that is because he is. He’s just so darn cool, calm, and collected. It’s definitely apparent that this guy knows where he is going and what it is going to take to get him where he needs to be.
You might find yourself sweating, trying to think of ideas to make him feel impressed by you, but trust me when I say this; just be yourself! An Aquarius man loves authenticity and someone who can be real, and especially a woman who doesn’t try too hard to get his attention.
Try your best not to fawn in his presence, of course be interested in what he says, but don’t just agree with all his opinions. Show him you have your own thoughts, and know how to partake in a healthy debate.
Nothing is sexier to an Aquarius man than a woman who just accepts who she is, knows what she stands for and doesn’t let a man persuade her to be any different. So, just be yourself around him and watch him inch closer and closer.
Be Open To Discussion
Your Aquarian man is all about ideas. He’s a deep thinker and is brilliantly inventive. He’s got a vision for humanity, and is going to try his best to help further society to live a better way, but he can’t do this on his own, he needs his community, and that’s where you come in.
Sometimes an Aquarius man gives himself too much credit, because he doesn’t always consider the discussions and conversations that he’s having might be just the thing that helps him come up with his weird and wacky ideas.
The truth is, this guy really needs people who he can have deep and meaningful conversations with. So, if he can find a woman like you who is smart and knows what is going on in the world, it is a real bonus!
You know what they say, behind every powerful man is an ever more powerful woman. And this is why it is so important for you to be open to discussion and sharing ideas with your Aquarian man, because mental stimulation is actually all he needs to sustain a meaningful relationship.
All he really wants in a woman is someone who knows how to use her brain and isn’t scared of expressing her opinion. It is even better when your ideas happen to be unique and progressive. This guy is future minded, and he wants his woman to be as well.
He’s not very interested in traditional and archaic ways of thinking, so when you show him how progressive and open-minded you can be, it is a sure way for this relationship to really grow and progress into something bigger than what it is right now. Never be afraid to share your views with an Aquarius man, because he’s going to love you for it.
Be A Rebel & Break Some Rules
Your Aquarian guy HAS to break the rules. He can’t help it but be totally unconventional, he loves the attention he gets from being totally unpredictable, so he really needs a woman who will walk the least expected path with him.
He wants to stand out from the crowd, and he wants you to do it with him. There is no way he’s going to date a girl who is going to try to hold him back. Nope, he needs a partner in crime who is going to push the boundaries with him.
Of course, you should never do anything that you’re not comfortable with or something that is illegal. But there are small ways in which you can stand out with him, perhaps by joining him in a protest or even something as simple as wearing a wacky pair of pants.
If you want the relationship to progress faster, then be sure to show him your rebellious side, and that you’re okay with getting a bit of attention. Trust me, he’s going to love you for it.
Not sure whether he is actually interested or just being friendly? More than 254,331 women have taken my free Cosmic Love Quiz to find out exactly where they stand with the man they want. It takes about two minutes and the results are eerily specific. Take the quiz here and find out how he really feels about you.
Don’t Be Clingy And Needy
An Aquarius man loves space, and he needs a lot of it. He’s happy to hang out when he does, but sometimes he just needs a moment or two on his own to reflect and think about all the things going on in his life.
He really loves and values his independence and freedom, and when he gets even the slightest feeling that you want to take this away from him, he’ll be out of your life in a flash. He cannot stand being with a woman who is super clingy and wants to be around him all the time.
Actually, this freaks him out and makes him question that you might have nothing better to do with your time, and if there is one thing that he dislikes, then it is a woman without a passion or without any goals.
He only wants to be with someone who is already living a full and meaningful life. He doesn’t want to be the person who gives her meaning. That is just way too much pressure for one guy to handle, and he’s just not okay with that at all.
So, if he ever gets the feeling that you think you cannot live without him, he’s definitely going to get scared off. Instead, you should just do your own thing, follow your dreams and be so busy that he’s the one out looking for your attention.
When you live a full life, he can’t help but want to get closer and closer to you. So, make sure to give him the space he needs, and just watch and see how quickly this relationship blooms into something beautiful and strong. You won’t regret it!
Respect His Time
Your Aquarius guy is totally weird and unexpected, so you would think he would be more of a free spirit and like to go with the flow of life, but you couldn’t be more wrong. This guy has a schedule and loves to stick to it.
Be dependable and reliable. He wants to know that your word is your bond, because nothing annoys him more than dating a flaky woman. But don’t worry, he isn’t boring, because now and then he’ll throw in something spontaneous and see how you handle last-minute situations.
So, it’s very important for him to see that you know how to be on time, and don’t make a habit of running late, because this shows him you respect his time, and you’re not out to waste it. Yes, he might be a rule breaking Aquarius, but there is a part of him that really respects structure.
If you can show him that you’re dependable and not someone who is out to waste his time, then he’ll definitely want to get closer to you and want the relationship to move along accordingly.
Read next: 8 Things That Kill An Aquarius Man’s Desire For You
Why He Moves So Slowly In The Early Stages
An Aquarius man does not measure the early stages the way most people do. He is not counting dates or waiting for the third-date rule. He is running a quiet, private assessment, and the question he is asking is not “do I like her?” It is “can I be entirely myself around her without losing anything?”
Uranus, his ruling planet, governs independence, invention, and sudden change. It does not govern reassurance. So he can feel a great deal for you and still take weeks to name it, because naming it feels like signing something. In my survey, 62% of women said they felt a definite connection with their Aquarius man, and yet only 29% felt confident he was interested. That gap is his whole personality in two numbers.
What this means for you is simple. Slow is not rejection. Slow is his default speed. The women who succeed with him are the ones who stop reading his pace as a verdict and start reading it as information.
The Quiet Signs He Is Falling For You
He will not tell you he is falling. He will show you in ways that are so understated you might scroll right past them. Here is what to watch for.
He shares an idea before he shares a feeling. When an Aquarius man starts sending you articles, theories, strange facts, and half-formed projects at midnight, he is letting you into the room where he actually lives. That is intimacy for him.
He changes his routine for you. This man is fiercely protective of his own rhythm. If he reorganizes a day so it includes you, that is louder than any compliment.
He asks you unusual questions. Not small talk. He wants to know what you think about something nobody else has asked you about. He is testing whether your mind is a place he wants to stay.
He introduces you to one person who matters. Only 40% of the women I surveyed had met any of his friends or family, and 38% had met nobody at all. If he brings you into even a corner of his world, treat it as the milestone it is.
He comes back on his own. After a quiet stretch, he reappears with warmth and no explanation. Frustrating, yes. But a man who is not interested does not return.
The 3 Mistakes That Stall The Early Stages
Mistake one: asking him to define it too early. The label conversation before he is ready does not speed him up. It sends him backward. Let the relationship become obviously real, and the definition will follow it rather than lead it.
Mistake two: matching his silence with punishment. When he goes quiet for two days and you go quiet for five out of pride, you teach him that closeness is followed by cold. He will simply keep his distance to avoid the whiplash.
Mistake three: shrinking yourself to be easy to date. Many women try to become low-maintenance for him. He does not want low-maintenance. He wants interesting. The moment you have nothing going on in your own life, you stop being the person he was drawn to.
If you catch yourself in any of these, do not despair. They are all reversible, and reversing them is often what unfreezes a stalled early stage. For more on holding his interest once you are past this phase, read my guide on how to keep an Aquarius man interested for the long term.
How Long The Early Stages Actually Last With Him
I get asked this constantly, so let me give you a real answer instead of a comforting one. With most Aquarius men, the undefined phase runs longer than it would with any other sign. Three to six months of consistent contact without a formal label is normal. Some of the happiest Aquarius relationships I have watched began with almost a year of what looked, from the outside, like nothing.
The number that matters is not how long it has been. It is whether the contact is deepening. Ask yourself: is he telling me more than he did a month ago? Is he showing up more consistently? Is he letting me see the unglamorous parts of his life? If those are trending upward, the time is doing its work. If they have been flat for months and he pulls away every time you get close, that is different information, and you can read more about it in my article on what kills an Aquarius man’s desire.
Frequently Asked Questions About The Early Stages With An Aquarius Man
Should I text him first in the early stages?
Yes, and it will not scare him. What unsettles an Aquarius man is not the first text, it is the fourth unanswered one. Send something with substance, an idea or a link or an observation, and then leave it alone. He answers curiosity far faster than he answers “hey, you there?”
Why does he go quiet for days and then act like nothing happened?
Because in his mind nothing did happen. He retreated into his own head, which he does with everyone, and he truly does not register it as a withdrawal from you. Meet him where he is when he returns instead of demanding an account of where he went, and he will do it less often as trust grows.
Is it a bad sign if he has not called me his girlfriend after three months?
Not with this sign. Only 2% of the women in my survey were married to their Aquarius man and 23% called their situation complicated. He resists labels on principle long before he resists them about you specifically. Watch what he does with his time, not what he calls you.
How do I keep my dignity while I wait for him to decide?
By making sure the waiting is not the main event of your life. Keep your friendships, your work, your plans. The paradox of an Aquarius man is that the fuller your life is, the more he wants inside it. If you want the exact words that open him up faster, my Aquarius Magic Phrases guide gives you messages built for his Uranus-ruled mind.
What if I already pushed too hard and he pulled away?
Give him room without disappearing entirely. One warm, low-pressure message that asks nothing of him, then patience. An Aquarius man rarely closes a door permanently over one conversation. He simply needs to feel that the space is his again before he walks back through it.
How To Make Real Progress With An Aquarius Man Without Pushing Him Away
It is pretty exhilarating dating an Aquarius man. He sure knows how to keep you on your toes! This guy is going to open up the world to you and show you so much adventure. But, be sure to be patient with him and don’t try to force things to happen too soon.
Always be fun and open-minded, and remember not to take things too seriously. He wants a woman who knows how to enjoy her life and is open to sharing it with him. Listen to his ideas and engage in his interesting conversation, and that’s pretty much all he needs to be happy in a relationship with you.
What have your experiences been like with Aquarian men? Do you have any advice on how to make these men fall in love faster? Well, if you have any thoughts, please leave me a comment in the section below! I’m really looking forward to hearing your stories.
And if you’re looking to grow your love with the Aquarius guy to greater heights, then check out my guide Forever Love With A Aquarius Man to find out how to sustain your love with him for all time!
Wishing you love and happiness!
Your friend and Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
Where To Go From Here
The early stages with an Aquarius man ask for something unusual from you. Not more effort. Less pressure, more presence, and a great deal of self-possession. If you can be the woman who is warm without being anxious, interested without being available at all hours, and fully alive in her own right, you become the rarest thing in his world: someone he does not need to escape from.
Which stage are you in right now with your Aquarius man, and what is confusing you most? Tell me in the comments. I read every one.
Wow…most of the things.you mention are true. I finally started letting that Aquarius be himself and Me be Me. It’s still not easy. I’m Leo who is not for any mess…he’s patient sometimes and we are learning everyday to enjoy the moments with everything you do
Hey Anna, absolutely loving reading your facts about the Aquarius man. I’m a Leo and we do have a very strong relationship but it has also been unstable, when we both blow its fiery. We got together during lockdown, he made the first move and we connected straight away and almost one year later we are still together, we met in September 2020 and due to the lockdown in the UK in November we decided it was make it break so he moved in and still together. We have had some testing times spending months in lockdown so we are now going through a different phase of our lives where we learn to live with general day to day lives. We do have the best time and both have the same zest for life which is what attracted us together and we both have the same family values which is important to us both. I would love to read more about me as a Leo too – so I will research your work on myself, I think it’s good to know myself too.
Hi Hazel!
I am happy to hear that you two have a strong relationship. You’re fire and he’s air. He has the capacity to fan your flames when you need soothing and cooling or he can aggravate you and make your fire grow in the wrong direction. Communication is important to keep from forest fires in your life developing. This magnetism between you is wonderful! Just make sure that you two are really talking things through to avoid future fiery enjoyments turning into a flash fire. You might want to check out my books on Aquarius Man Secrets sometime. I think it may help you even more. Wishing you the best!