Are you thinking of dating an Aquarius man who has gotten a divorce? Are you considering becoming serious with one?
Yes, he can get confusing, and he can also blow hot and cold. What can you do about it? Keep reading, and I’ll help you learn what you need to keep in mind when dating a divorced Aquarius man.
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In my years as a relationship astrologer, I have helped thousands of women decode the Aquarius man they cannot stop thinking about, and the divorced Aquarius man is his own particular puzzle. In a survey of more than 2,600 women involved with Aquarius men, nearly 1 in 4 described their situation as “complicated,” and that one word tells you almost everything about what it feels like to fall for a man who has already been married once and is in no rush to do it again.
Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the planet of independence and sudden change. He processes pain privately, he protects his freedom fiercely, and after a divorce he protects both even harder. The hot-and-cold rhythm you may already be feeling is not proof that he does not care. It is the Uranus wiring, and once you understand it, his caution stops reading as rejection. If you want my complete roadmap for understanding him from the inside out, my Aquarius Man Secrets guide is built for exactly this. The article below gives you the foundation, so read every line.
6 Things You Should Know When Dating a Divorced Aquarius Man
1. Divorced Means Experienced
While you may be looking to find someone to be serious with, an Aquarius man recovering from a failed relationship is probably trying to take it easy.
They are naturally slow movers in the first place, but now that he’s divorced, he’s going to be even more cautious.
He knows now what it’s like being serious with someone and where it got him. Whether he was the problem or his ex was, there are still lessons he’s learned from it all.
This will make him want to take a long time to get involved with someone else. He may never want to be serious with someone again, so that’s something to take into account when you’re trying to get closer to him.
You cannot get frustrated with him if he’s straight up in the beginning and tells you he doesn’t want a relationship.
I see this happen all the time. He tells her he doesn’t want commitment. Then because he’s still being cordial with her and acts like they are dating, she’s shocked when he reminds her of what he said before… he doesn’t want a relationship.
He doesn’t mind spending time with someone and having a good experience. He doesn’t even mind having sex. But if he tells you in the beginning he’s not looking for a relationship, he means it.
2. You Cannot Push Him
An Aquarius man is a strong-minded individual. If he wants to take it slow, you’ll have to go with it. If you do not, you will lose him. He will become distant and finally just let you go.
He is in absolutely no hurry to get involved after what he’s been through already. If by some chance he’s an Aquarius who is moving fast, you should be really cautious. He may be trying to bury past pain by moving on too quickly.
The last thing you want to be is his rebound woman. You may end up getting ditched later, and it hurts. Don’t do that to yourself.
Take your time, get to know him, show him that you’re a good woman, and let him see with his own observations that you’re someone he can get closer to.
You also need to consider whether or not he has children with his ex. If so, he’s going to be tied to her for the rest of his life, or at least until his kids are adults. That is going to make him take longer also.
He will absolutely grill you and try to get to you know you for a long period of time before he brings you around to meet his kids. Beware, if you try to push him into a relationship or even exclusivity, you may not be met with good results.
If you’re in a hurry to dive into a relationship, marriage, or having children with someone, then you may need to find someone else—the Aquarius man isn’t likely the one for you.
3. They May Be “Damaged”
Some Aquarius men may be damaged from their past marriage. You need to watch out for some of the signs they may display. It can save you heartache to avoid trying to get closer to someone who can’t handle it.
- He seems to want you to cook or clean his place. He’s looking for someone take care of him, not be his love.
- He may seem to want an inordinate time alone. Aquarius men like having freedom and time to themselves naturally, but when he wants to be alone more often than with you, something is wrong.
- He blows hot and cold with you. He acts indecisive or sketchy, as though he’s keeping things from you that you probably should know.
- He wants to have sex with you but doesn’t want to go out. He won’t introduce you to friends or family. It’s always hanging out at his place or your place.
- He never tells you anything of significance to him. He won’t open up to you at all and seems very hard to decipher.
- He acts needy or desperate. Aquarius men don’t do this unless they’re looking for someone to rebound with.
If your guy is giving you any of these red flags, you probably should run far and fast. He’s not looking for the same things you are, and you’re going to get hurt.
Back out and move on. It’s the best thing for you to do. No one wants to keep chasing after someone who isn’t emotionally available.
4. Family Issues
If you are dating an Aquarius man who is over 30, there is a good chance he had a kid with his ex-wife. Even if not, he’s likely still tied to her family.
There is also his family, who is probably now badgering him about either being careful or staying single. They may be telling him, “Take a break before you get back out there.”
They are basically filling his head with what they think he should be doing. He may listen to them on some level. Aquarius men are normally fiercely independent, however.
Family is very important to him, and he’s not likely to take you home until he’s very serious about you. He doesn’t want them getting attached to someone who may not stick around—since his ex didn’t.
In the case that he’s the one who left, he may not want to introduce anyone to his family until he’s ready to walk down the aisle again. Yes, it can be that long!
An Aquarius man who has been married before has issues much like anyone else. However, the things I’m sharing with you are more specific to him.
5. He Has Emotional Baggage to Carry
Look, this is pretty normal for anyone. The Aquarius man is no different. He is likely to harbor feelings for his ex and may even keep in touch with her.
He will always have a special place for her in his heart, even if he never wants her back. However, you’ll find that he’ll try to see if you have some of the same issues he feels his ex had.
He may compare you, and he may try to carry his own problems over. Until he’s purged himself of his previous marriage emotionally, he’s not very likely to open back up to someone new.
He may want to be an adventurous playboy for a while. Don’t let him pull you in to a “friends with benefits” situation, or you’ll never get more from him. He’ll get cozy with the way it is, and it will never change.
Read next: How To Become A Priority For Your Aquarius Man
6. He Needs You to Take Your Time—and You Need That, Too
It’s not just the Aquarius guy who should take his time. If you’re going to date a divorced man, you need to take it slow so that you can be sure he’s a good guy for you and that he’s someone you can have a future with.
Beware of any Aquarius man trying to move lightning-fast. Something is up and could fail miserably. Just be leery and know what you will and will not accept from someone in a relationship.
Express what you’re looking for in the beginning so he can tell you he’s either looking for the same or he’s not. That way, you know and can move on right away if you sense it’s not going to work.
Don’t let him play the “I’m confused” card with you. He knows mostly what he wants or doesn’t, and if he tells you he’s not sure, then he probably is but doesn’t want to be honest.
Let time dictate whether he’s a good possibility for you or not.
The Truth About Why a Divorced Aquarius Man Blows Hot and Cold
Here is the truth almost no one tells you about a divorced Aquarius man. When he goes quiet, it is rarely about you, and it is rarely a decision to leave. In my survey of more than 2,600 women involved with Aquarius men, 62% said they felt a real connection with him, yet 24% said that connection seemed to be fading without a single word of explanation. Read those two numbers together, because they describe the exact experience of dating him after a divorce. The bond is genuine. The retreat is real. And both are true at the same time.
A divorced Aquarius man has already learned that closeness can cost him. So when he starts to feel something for you, a part of him pulls back to check that he is still standing on his own two feet. The warmth you felt last week was honest. The distance you feel this week is him regulating his own nervous system, not punishing you. The women who lose him are the ones who chase the cold to make it warm again. The women who keep him are the ones who stay calm, stay warm, and let him come back on his own. He almost always does.
How to Tell a Divorced Aquarius Man Is Finally Ready to Love Again
You will not hear him announce it. A divorced Aquarius man shows you he is ready in small, almost accidental ways. He starts telling you things he has not told anyone since the marriage ended. He mentions you to a friend, then lets that slip. He asks about your week and actually remembers the answer. With Aquarius, the head opens before the heart does, so the first real sign is that he wants to talk to you, debate with you, and think out loud with you.
The deeper sign is that he stops comparing. Early on, a recently divorced Aquarius quietly measures every new woman against his ex, looking for the same cracks. When he is ready to love again, that scanning stops, and he begins to see you as your own person rather than a repeat of his past. If he introduces you to his children or his closest friends, understand what that costs him. He does not do it casually, and he does not do it for a woman he sees as temporary. For more on this stage, my guide on how to keep an Aquarius man interested for the long term walks you through what comes next.
What His Divorce Quietly Taught Him About Commitment
Every divorced Aquarius man carries a private lesson out of his marriage, and it shapes how he loves you now. For many, the lesson was that they lost themselves inside the relationship, agreed to things they did not want, and woke up one day not recognizing their own life. That is why he guards his independence so carefully with you. He is not keeping a door open for someone else. He is making sure he never disappears inside a relationship again.
This is also why pressure backfires so badly with him. In my survey, 44% of women said their relationship with an Aquarius man was progressing slowly and another 35% said it was not progressing at all. With a divorced Aquarius, those numbers run even higher, because slow is how he proves to himself that this time is different. When you give him room to choose you freely, you become the opposite of what his marriage felt like, and that contrast is the most powerful thing you have going for you.
If you want to understand his moods week to week, instead of guessing why he went quiet on a Tuesday and warm again by Friday, come inside my Aquarius Man Love Club, free for the first 30 days. Every week I show you where his head and his heart actually are, so you can stop decoding the silence and start reading him in real time.
Frequently Asked Questions About Dating a Divorced Aquarius Man
How long should you wait for a divorced Aquarius man to commit?
There is no fixed clock, but you should expect a divorced Aquarius man to move more slowly than almost any other sign. Where a Cancer or a Pisces might want to define things within weeks, a recently divorced Aquarius often needs many months, sometimes the better part of a year, before he is willing to attach a label.
The real question is not how long you should wait. It is whether you see steady forward motion during that wait. If he is opening up a little more each month, including you in more of his life, and talking about the future even in small ways, the slow pace is just his nature and it is worth your patience. If months pass and nothing deepens, you are not waiting for commitment anymore, you are waiting for a man who has already told you, through his actions, that he is content with things exactly as they are. Be honest with yourself about which one you are living.
My advice is to set a private timeline for yourself, not an ultimatum for him. Decide what you need to see by a certain point, and if you do not see it, give yourself permission to step back. An Aquarius man respects a woman with her own boundaries far more than one who waits indefinitely.
Will a divorced Aquarius man go back to his ex-wife?
Usually not, but he will almost always keep a corner of his heart for her. Aquarius men are loyal to their own history. He may stay in touch with his ex, especially if they share children, and that contact can feel threatening when you do not understand it. In most cases it is friendship and logistics, not lingering romance.
The warning signs that he is not fully done are specific. If he hides her messages, grows defensive whenever her name comes up, or compares you to her out loud, his divorce is still emotionally unfinished. A man who is truly over his marriage can talk about it calmly and does not need to keep it secret. If he is still tangled in old feelings, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is slow down until he has actually closed that chapter.
Trust patterns over promises. What he does with his ex over three or four months will tell you far more than anything he says in a single reassuring conversation.
Do divorced Aquarius men want to get married again?
Many do, but on very different terms than the first time. A divorced Aquarius man is not against marriage as an idea. He is against repeating the version of marriage that made him feel trapped. If he marries again, he wants a partnership that protects both people’s independence, where he still has his space, his friendships, and his freedom to be himself.
This is actually good news if you are a woman who has her own full life. The Aquarius man who swore off marriage often changes his mind completely when he meets someone who does not need him to give up who he is. Show him that loving you adds to his freedom rather than shrinking it, and the door he thought he had closed can quietly open again.
What will not work is trying to convince him with logic or pressure. He has to arrive at the decision himself, in his own time, which is exactly why the slow pace described above matters so much.
Is a divorced Aquarius man worth dating?
If you can match his pace and respect his independence, a divorced Aquarius man can be one of the most truly interesting and loyal partners you will ever have. His marriage taught him what he does not want, which means he often knows himself far better than a man who has never been through it. He is less likely to play games and more likely to tell you the truth, even when the truth is that he is not ready yet.
He is not the right choice for a woman who needs fast reassurance, constant contact, or an early label. He is the right choice for a woman who is secure enough to build something slowly and let him reveal himself one honest layer at a time. If that sounds like you, the divorce in his past is not a red flag at all. It is the very thing that has made him ready to do it differently with you.
Final Thoughts
Whatever you do, do not have sex with him until you know he’s exclusively with you. You will get hurt and will be emailing me wondering how to get him back or how to get him to commit!
Sex doesn’t mean he will commit, so this is yet another reason to hold off from getting intimate. Find out what he’s looking for first. When you don’t and just assume, you end up with a broken heart.
Wise up and watch him. Do what is best for you!
What have you learned from dating a divorced Aquarius man? Please share your experience! Share your story (or questions) with our community in the comment section below (don’t worry, it’s anonymous).
Did you know that adorable singer/actor Harry Styles is an Aquarius man? How interesting is that?!
Are you curious whether you’re compatible with your Aquarius man? Try my fun quiz:
Wishing you all the luck of the universe.
Your friend and relationship astrologer,
Anna Kovach
I have been dating an Aquaman since Friday, May 29, 2020. He invited himself over to my place on June 10th and has never left! He is extremely happy and is very open about it and tells me daily. Wednesday he said he planned to be with me for a long, long time. Yesterday he said he wants to be in a committed relationship, he knows how blessed he is now, he knows he wants to be with me the rest of his life.
Aquaman divorced 6 years ago. I didn’t have sex with him until 6/10.
He has twins with ex and they have a good relationship. Ex is engaged & he cares for her (mother of his kids) but he says it is only a parental relationship & he has no desire to be with her. He says he wants to be with me. I’m a little overwhelmed because he was a man all the girls wanted to date when we were younger (now I’m 49 & he is 55). What should I think? He acts so happy and cleans the house and spends time talking, sharing with me daily – most times for hours.
Is he really committed? Will he do what he says or is he happy temporarily?
And, because I read your posts, I give him a run for his money- I keep him guessing & laughing & vice versa.
Please don’t share our ages. If there is anyway you can delete the dates as well and the comment still works, please do so.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge! I appreciate it!
Aquaman is in love with me.
I have been dating an Aquaman since Friday, May 29, 2020. He invited himself over to my place on June 10th and has never left! He is extremely happy and is very open about it and tells me daily. Wednesday he said he planned to be with me for a long, long time. Yesterday he said he wants to be in a committed relationship, he knows how blessed he is now, he knows he wants to be with me the rest of his life.
Aquaman divorced 6 years ago. I didn’t have sex with him until 6/10.
He has twins with ex and they have a good relationship. Ex is engaged & he cares for her (mother of his kids) but he says it is only a parental relationship & he has no desire to be with her. He says he wants to be with me. I’m a little overwhelmed because he was a man all the girls wanted to date when we were younger (now I’m 49 & he is 55). What should I think? He acts so happy and cleans the house and spends time talking, sharing with me daily – most times for hours.
Is he really committed? Will he do what he says or is he happy temporarily?
And, because I read your posts, I give him a run for his money- I keep him guessing & laughing & vice versa.
Please don’t share our ages. If there is anyway you can delete the dates as well and the comment still works, please do so. Please do not print my Nina me.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge! I appreciate it!
Aquaman is in love with me.
I disagree about the one that says if he says he isn’t looking for a relationship he won’t change his mind. My aquarius man and I both recently divorced. We’ve been friends for years and became best friends over the course of the last 6 months. We both said we weren’t looking for a relationship, but we found ourselves in one regardless. We talk about how love happens when you aren’t looking for it at all. I think an aquarius, divorced or not, will commit to the right person.