4 Reasons Why Aquarius Is The Most Complicated Lover In The Zodiac

by Anna Kovach, relationship astrologer
I have identified four areas where Aquarius is hard to figure out. I’ll shed light on them so that you can better understand your Aquarian lover to more easily achieve the best and most loving relationship possible with your guy!

Aquarius’ are not hard to spot. They’ll be the one who seems to be friends with literally everyone! They seem cool, collected, kind, and sociable. If you’ve ever dated an Aquarius though, you know that this isn’t all that there is to the story. 

Aquarians are multi-layered and among the most enigmatic signs in the Zodiac. Needless to say, they’re hard to figure out. 

So, what’s a girl who’s crushing on an Aquarius to do? Never fear, because I can show you some of the points where the Aquarius is difficult to understand in order to offer you some clarity on their inner workings, tendencies, and motivations. 

I have identified four areas where Aquarius is hard to figure out. I’ll shed light on them so that you can better understand your Aquarian lover to more easily achieve the best and most loving relationship possible with your guy!

4 Reasons Why Aquarius Is The Most Complicated Lover In The Zodiac

1. He’ll Sow His Oats, But Can Also Commit

Complicated Aquarius Man

The Aquarius man is going to really throw many women for a loop and perhaps even trump their intuition on who they are as a person. This is because Aquarius can be many things with ease. They are air signs, making them naturally adaptable by nature. However, they are a fixed sign as well, meaning they are reliable. 

How this can look to the women who is watching the Aquarius is that they’ll pick up on the highly sociable and friendly exterior and take him as a huge flirt, and she wouldn’t be wrong. The Aquarius is looking to meet anyone of any gender, background, or creed and connect with them, and this can come off as flirtatious and indiscriminate to potential lovers. 

Despite this, the Aquarius is ruled by Saturn, planet of solidity and consistency; they are also a fixed sign, as I mentioned. This combination means that they are actually far more reliable as a partner than one would think! It’s just that the Aquarius isn’t necessarily looking for commitment until it sneaks up on them. Then, my dear, they’re ALL in! 

Don’t be discouraged if you see the Aquarius talking to any number of people. They don’t care about convention and so they don’t mind coming off as a ‘flirt’ even if that’s not what their intent is at all. They are fully capable of settling down with a single lover unless other factors in the chart prevent it. 

2. He Puts Friendship First, Romance Second

Aquarius Man Puts Friendship Over Romance

As I mentioned above, the Aquarius is not typically scoping out a room to find someone to go home with. They are looking to meet and greet and find new friends, and whatever happens after that is simply a secondary effect. Don’t be discouraged if the Aquarius is not flirting up a storm with you! That’s simply not their goal on day one, or even weeks in, with you or most anyone. 

So, what should you be looking for to see if they’ll become interested in taking things to the next level? Just notice if they’re trying to do a lot of ‘friend’ things with you. The Aquarius has the modern ruler of Uranus, and this means that they see community as top priority. Signs that they’d like to bring you into their bubble of people they get close to (not as large as you’d think) is a good sign.

After some time of hanging out on a superficial level, you’re bound to see more and more of who they are inside. At this point, they likely consider you to be their best friend and they’ll be far more open to exposing themselves fully to you (no, not like that!). This is when you might notice them start to fall for you. 

3. He’s Friendly Yet Distant

Aquarius is one person that most everyone will get along with. The Aquarian is easy to like since they’re so charitable and they have a knack for making complete strangers feel totally welcome. It’s a rare gift that they have to appeal to such a wide variety of individuals with such low effort on their part.

Knowing this, it can be a totally jarring when after you’ve been made to feel so comfortable by the Aquarius but you find that they’re not that comfortable with you after prolonged exposure. I’ve seen this over and over again. Before Aquarian men really open up and get real with their partner, they hit a wall where they kind of freak out and draw back… let’s say that true intimacy is not the Aquarian forte. 

Aquarius needs you to be their friend before they see you as their lover. So just like the sign Capricorn, also ruled by Saturn traditionally, it takes a while to get the Aquarius to the point where they want to open up and peel back some layers to get to the meat of their relationship with you.

Read next: Aquarius Man Traits: Understand His Personality And Temperament

4. He Cares For Your Emotions, Not His Own

Aquarians are blessed with this highly charitable sense about them. Most of them want what’s best for the world and they care about the well-being of everyone they meet and everyone they haven’t met. But don’t polish their halo yet, cause once you get close to the Aquarius it can feel like you’re with a whole different person… one who isn’t interested in telling you their deepest, darkest secrets. 

They will gladly keep you happy, but will be hesitant to even tell you if they’re struggling. Heck, they won’t even know themselves if they’re struggling most of the time! They’re not what you’d call the most emotionally competent sign… may I refer you to a water sign?

Aquarians will recoil at your attempts to make them get real with you. They are more protective of their emotions than even they realize. 

You can work with them on opening up, but until then, rest assured that they’ll try very hard to understand your emotions. It doesn’t come naturally to them, but what does come naturally to them is caring about their best friend… you! Just be patient and explain to the Aquarius how they can best help you when you’re struggling… and if you don’t know how to do that part, maybe you’re also an Aquarius!

Have you dated an Aquarius in the past? In what areas were they the hardest for you to wrap your head around? Let us know down below in the comments so that we can keep our eyes peeled for that behavior! 

Unsure if Aquarius men are your cup of tea? Are you facing some doubts that he could be the right guy for you? Then you’re going to want to check out my VIP consultation service. I can help guide you down the right path in love and life based off of your Astrology and answer any questions you may have. But take a look soon, while there are still some spots open!

Wishing you all the luck in the Universe, 

Anna Kovach

About Author

Hi, this is Anna Kovach. I am a professional Relationship Astrologer and author of dozens of bestselling books and programs. For over a decade I’ve been advising commitment-seeking women like you and helping them understand, attract and keep the man of their dreams using the astonishing power of astrology. Join over 250K subscribers on my newsletter or follow me on social media! Learn more about me and how I can help you here.

11 thoughts on “4 Reasons Why Aquarius Is The Most Complicated Lover In The Zodiac

  1. I had an Aquarius guy contact me in a dating site. He was 200 miles away. I told him I wasn’t interested in a long distance relationship but he pressed, that was August 21,20, we met in person Oct 4 then again Nov 4. Everyday he’d text, call and FaceTime. He initiated every time. He kept saying we had so much chemistry and commonality. During the Nov meeting, he told me he wasn’t looking for anyone else, wasn’t seeing anyone else but wanted me to date others too. That floored me. We’ve not seen each other since but have talked snd texted. He still says being with me was magical. So what gives? I felt like he was throwing me away. It hurt me deeply

    1. Hi Beverly!

      I don’t think he was throwing you away but he is definitely letting you know he doesn’t want a relationship. He doesn’t want commitment. Just look at the good between you and walk away with it. You deserve someone who wants what you want and I believe that person is still out there! Don’t sell yourself short. I wish you all the very best sweetheart!

  2. You really are spot on and I’d like to thank you for all your advice as its helped me massively. I love my Aquarius man with all my heart and I finally see his walls slowly coming down. I am being asked to go on future vacations and am no invited into his family. I know he has struggled as he’s been hurt deeply in the past . I’d just like to make him happy and to be a big part of his life

    1. Hi Kim!

      I am so glad that I could help you sweetheart. It sounds like things are opening up for you and Aquarius. That’s wonderful. I truly do wish you nothing but all the best that you deserve.

  3. I’m a Taurus woman who tried to date an Aquarius man, but it’s so frustrating, he’ll say he feels 1 way about me but then also acts distance so I gave up on if we’ll ever have anything but I think our souls/energy got connected or disturbed(idk which is correct) maybe tru sex but I keep feeling his emotions, his pains, his moods/energy etc so often even tho we’re not together, or even live close to each other and sometimes we go days without speaking but I still feel it… and it’s making it hard for me to connect or move on to someone else….could it be that I am still emotional connected or in love with him?

    1. Hi Chichi!

      I don’t blame your Taurus heart for feeling the way you do. He doesn’t sound like he’s a good match for you if he frustrates you so much. Sex doesn’t solve a thing so don’t bank on that. He also sounds like he has some other things in his birth chart that make him moody and everchanging. I think the feelings you have are that you’re in love with the “potential” of him. You saw something good and you had hoped that would be something but then his true self emerged which was way different. I think you need to search your heart and see if I’m right. If I’m not then you need to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel. I wish you all the luck of the stars!

  4. I enjoyed the feed back regarding this very special man in my life I wanted to tell you thank you so much because it’s spot on. You a blessing keep it up

    1. Hi Iloa Uu!

      Thank you for writing in with your beautiful comment. I am so very glad that my feedback is helping you and inspiring you to make things perfect with your Aquarius man. I think you are a blessing for being so wonderful sweetheart. I do wish you all the best with your love but I do have other guides if you ever want to read more.

  5. The points here and in other articles are pretty spot on for an Aquarius guy and I’m a Scorpio, and he decided leave me 2+ mths ago.

    He can sometimes be generous to others but not to himself. Eg. he knows I like to eat this thing, even if it’s expensive, he’ll still bring me. He has the tendency to want time alone (eg. to collect his stuff on the day itself or next on his own if we’re not meeting that day or the next and gave all sorts of excuses even when we will be going to be in that area in a few days).

    He has avoidance tendency too and tends to shut himself out when that happens. Many times, he doesn’t communicate as much but may sometimes tell you when asked. Can be confusing to me when we talked about marriage and housing, he has even suggested getting house at an area but later pull himself back when we talked about the tentative marriage date.

    Even as he ends this rship, he told me he like to have some alone time for 2-3 days but contacted my family to say we have broken up after some argument, yet the next day, telling me he needed longer time 3-4 days when the rship is off to him. When I texted to say I can give him more time, show him more care and encouragement, he responded by saying he doesn’t want to give me false hope / hope, after attempting to text him awhile once every 2-3 weeks or more, he stop replying and I have not tried texting him since fearing it might pull him back more.

    1. Hi Anonymous!

      It sounds like he’s indecisive about what he wants. He must have something else going on in his life that he hasn’t talked to you about and it’s effecting his capability of being in a relationship. I think that giving him silent time is probably for the best. I know that sucks but it’s what needs to happen here. Leave him totally alone. If he does want to be with you, he will reach out. He’s going through something that sounds difficult but cannot handle relationship stuff right now. He may be depressed too. Going quiet will help him figure out if he can do it or not. Go ahead and do your own thing sweetheart. I wish you all the best!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *